December 5, 2009
Another ex-PR person who now wants to be MP
We have touched upon the wife of the Speaker of the House of Commons before but I see that she has been doing her confessional in the press (again) prior to running as a Labour MP in the forthcoming general election
Now there are very few whose lives would stand up to huge press scrutiny but few of us would of our own volition would admit to two bottles a day & one-night stands before seeking public office … it takes a prospective politician to do that
So the question I would like to pose this morning is, Sally Becow
a)Hot?
b)Not?
c) Just anyother whineybutt member of the political class whose is trying to paper over her sordid past & get her mitts on to the public purse?
Update: Now I think about it, judging by the rate at which Family Bercow has been spunking away the taxpayers money recently…
The Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, has had his grace-and-favour Westminster apartment refurbished at a cost of £45,000 to the taxpayer. Mr Bercow ordered the makeover, covering work from child-friendly redecorating to new televisions and furniture, within weeks of his election as Speaker in June.
His wife, Sally, oversaw most of the work and the couple pushed ahead with the overhaul despite being warned by Parliamentary officials that the costs may be seen as excessive.
Emails reveal that Mrs Bercow compiled a lengthy “shopping list” of items that she wished to have changed in the Speaker’s historic official residence within days of her husband’s election
… maybe salacious Sally is already eminently qualified to be an MP
On This Day ... in 1578 & Others
Francis Drake plundered Valparaiso in Chile during his round-the-world expedition in Golden Hind.
December 4, 2009
Richard Todd OBE 1919 - 2009
Richard Todd, the actor, who died on December 3 aged 90, was one of the first British officers to land in Normandy in advance of the main D-Day landings and went on to become Britain's highest-earning matinee idol of the post-war years; his most memorable role was that of Wing Commander Guy Gibson, VC, in The Dam Busters (1955), a film he carried with the help of Michael Redgrave as Barnes Wallis.
You can find an account of his wartime & D-Day expirences here & let’s just say that when you see the ponces that are laughably referred to these days as film stars, Todd was a real man. This weekend, I shall be watching both The Dam Busters & The Longest Day (yet again)
Rabbit Shooting Special
As promised dear readers, today we are doing our rabbit shooting feature & could I just thank everyone that has sent in pictures over the last few days. Thank you one & all
What about using .17 HMR?
As reader Weasel says: This one copped a 17HMR. Should go down a treat with your bunnyhugging friends
The rare bushy tailed tree rabbit
Reader Conrad writes: Not a rabbit, but thought you might appreciate it. Took him with a 16ga a couple of years ago whilst doing pest control for the National Trust (when I lived in England!). Never did work out what killed him, there was no sign of blood anywhere.
More rabbit shooting
This from RF
Please find attached the results of todays wander with a ruger 10/22 using Winchester bulk HV 36gr.
Fed up with those pesky skateboarders?
You will need to stick with me on this one ... it starts to get interesting at about the minute mark
A fat capitalist cigar for Kristopher for finding it
As its Friday, its time for our rabbit shooting feature
As promised, we are going to do a 'Rabbit Special' today & we start with the contents of reader Mel's fridge
...or as he puts it, bunny bunk beds
On This Day ... in 1941 & Others
The Prime Minister, Winston Churchill, announced the call-up of unmarried women aged 20-30 to serve in the women's branches of the Armed Forces, or the police and fire services. Exemptions were made for single mothers, full-time carers, and conscientious objectors.
December 3, 2009
Apologies for today’s late posting
As I expect you already guessed, the demon drink was involved as what can only be called a Captain’s Innings in this bar
Needless to say, today has passed very very slowly
& now I am off home to bed
On This Day ... in 1810 & Others
Troops commanded by Major General Abercromby captured the Ile de France - modern-day Mauritius - having been landed by a powerful Royal Navy force.
December 2, 2009
Wednesday Mohammedans Part 2: The Wrong Sort of Muslim?
Conservative peer Baroness Warsi of Dewsbury, named Britain's most powerful Muslim woman, has been pelted with eggs during a visit to Luton. Baroness Warsi was taking part in a walkabout in the predominantly Muslim Bury Park area of Luton when she was confronted by a group of protesters. The male protesters accused her of not being a proper Muslim and supporting the death of Muslims in Afghanistan.
I suppose that over the years we stout bulldogs have got sadly used to the ‘wrong sort of’ excuse however its use is generally confined to the (apparently) different types of snow on the rail tracks that brings the entire network to a predictable shuddering halt – however its deployment in the context of the Mohammedan religion shows that even excuses can mutate faster than the new drug resistant H1N1 swine flu virus.
However a swift whiz of Goggle reveals this picture on Baroness Warsi
Either she has been overdoing the goat stew or that’s a suicide belt she has on under her robes. If it’s the latter, would that make her the right sort of Muslim in the eyes of Her Majesty’s most loyal subjects in Luton?
Just asking you understand!
Wednesday Mohammedans Part 1: Striking Suicide Bombers
Found, I am not sure where, by Gweilicus
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."
Continue reading "Wednesday Mohammedans Part 1: Striking Suicide Bombers"Fit for heroes or not fit for purpose?
Tonight dear readers I would like to draw your attention to The Unknown Warriors by Nicholas Pringle & this article found by Col. Beausaber which deals with the disillusionment felt by many World War Two veterans at what once Great Britain has become – certainly not the country they fought so bravely for.
Continue reading "Fit for heroes or not fit for purpose?"
On This Day ... in 1825 & others
During the First Burmese War, Brigadier-General Sir Archibald Campbell attacked a large concentration of Burmese forces under Maha Nemyo at Pagoda Point near Prome on the Irrawaddy. Maha Nemyo was killed, and some 300 warboats captured. The Burmese retreated to their fortifications at Malun.
Continue reading "On This Day ... in 1825 & others"December 1, 2009
The travails of tubby travellers
I was much taken by this article that appeared yesterday
The picture, posted on an aviation blog, was reportedly taken by a flight attendant to illustrate to airline managers the difficulty of dealing with passengers who cannot fit into seats
It is unclear if the man was aware his picture was being taken or whether the flight, on US carrier American Airlines, took off with the passenger spilling out of his seat
However, having followed the story back to its source, its not so much the story that becomes interesting, so much as two of the comments.
First up we have Jim: The overhead monitor does make it look like a 757, but I don't remember American putting Recaro seats on their 757's.
& the reply from Anon: Jim, Those are not the Recaro seats. Those are the Weber seats. Which are currently being removed and replaced on 118 aircraft with new Weber seats. The Recaro coach seats were only ever installed on 77 737-800's, the MD-80 Fleet (non TWA) and the 777-200's.
You can tell by the tray table latch which on the Recaro is a half moon shape. In this picture it is half a rounded square.
Move over train spotters, I think that we might just have found King Spod
Jobs you might consider applying for
Research Officer - The rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy
(Job reference: 316199 ) Faculty of Education, Social Sciences and Law
School of Sociology and Social Policy (Full-time, fixed term 12 months from March 2010)
You will work on an ESRC funded study on the rise and regulation of lap dancing and the place of sexual labour and consumption in the night time economy. The post will involve qualitative and quantitative data collection and analysis. It is based in Leeds, although some travel to other cities may be necessary.
You will have, or be about to complete, a postgraduate qualification in the social sciences or relevant subject and some appropriate research experience. You will be mainly responsible for access and fieldwork. Good interviewing, communication and organisational skills are essential as is the ability to work independently and as part of a team. Experience of interviewing and conducting surveys is essential, as is prior experience of conducting research in the female sex industry.
It is anticipated that interviews will take place on December 14 2009 Salary: Grade 7 (£29,704 - £35,469 p.a)
The appointment will be made at £31,513 p.a or below since there are funding limitations which dictate the level at which the appointment can start.
Tie a yellow ribbon around young Nawvlee
This mornings entry received from Mr Lusala Long Love is of his late younger brother Nawvlee, cutting a nonchalant dash on the militias Chitty-Rover (hence why the driver is sporting this seasons must have Biggy Bomber Harris headdress)
The judges were especially impressed by Nawvlee’s juxtaposition of the yellow scarf offset by a pair of Marc Jacobs combat flip flops. Sadly the ensemble was slightly spoilt when just after this picture was taken Boom Boom Butannaziba ND’ed with the recoilless, negating the need for young Nawvlee to give up smoking in later life
First day of Advent
What with today being the first day of December, I at last have a very lame excuse to start posting Christmas themed stuff that has been accumulating in my Festive Folder over the last eleven months...
I’ve finally managed it
I suppose that over the years I have managed to upset & offend quite a few people, at least if the daily contents of my inbox are anything to go by. Normally it’s the anti fox hunting brigade who seem dismayed that ever since their ludicrous ban became law your humble correspondent has had a lot more opportunities to give cute cuddly foxy woxy the ballistic tipped good news. However it now appears that my 3,657th post back in March of this year has finally come to the attention of the bunny huggers…
Bunny Owner: You should be ashamed of yourselves for bragging about your cruelty. Hope you die this way, too
&
Pet Rabbit Owner: This is cruel. Are you guys hungry? There's plenty of other food. Leave the bunnies alone.
Not that I am in any way bl**dy minded or anything but I feel a Rabbit Special coming on. So if any readers have any good rabbit shooting pics & would like to send them in, I’ll post the results & send out the necessary emails to the two aforementioned guests
On This Day ... in 1588 & Others
The first attempt to organise welfare provision for Royal Navy seamen was established - the Chatham Chest. Contributions were deducted from sailors' pay and placed in the chest, which had five different locks, the keys being held by five officers in a (not very successful) attempt to avoid corruption, with sums disbursed to seamen in distressed circumstances.
November 30, 2009
Your geo-political thought for the day
President Barack Obama’s recent trip to China reflects a symbiotic relationship at the heart of the global economy: China uses American spending power to enlarge its private sector, while America uses Chinese lending power to expand its public sector
Tyler Cowen
On This Day ... in 1335 & Others
In Culblean Forest, by the River Dee, Scots troops under Sir Andrew Murray and Sir William Douglas, loyal to the Bruce's heir, David II, fell upon a raiding party under David of Strathbogie. Strathbogie, one of Balliol's few remaining Scots supporters, had mounted a murderous raid along the eastern coast. He was cut down, fighting alone after most of his men fled. His death robbed the English/Balliol camp of one of its key figures and boosted Scots morale.
November 29, 2009
On This Day ... in 1940 & Others
Lieutenant H Newgass, RNVR, was called to defuse a large parachute mine, dropped during a devastating Luftwaffe raid on Liverpool, which had penetrated the roof of a gasometer at Garston Gasworks. If the weapon had exploded, it would have destroyed the entire gasworks and caused immense devastation in the surrounding area.
Newgass was lowered into the gasometer wearing breathing apparatus six times, and despite working under the most difficult and dangerous of circumstances - in the dark, in a couple of feet of water, and surrounded by explosive gas - eventually managed to make the weapon safe. He was awarded the George Cross for his extraordinary heroism.
November 28, 2009
On This Day ...in 1857 & Others
Drummer Flinn serving with 64th Regiment of Foot ( later the North Staffordshire Regt), became one of the two youngest winners of the Victoria Cross (the other being Andrew Fitzgibbon). Aged only fifteen, he charged an enemy gun position at Cawnpore during the Indian Mutiny and although wounded engaged in a hand-to-hand encounter with two of the rebel
artillerymen.
November 27, 2009
On This Day ... in 1806 & Others
A squadron under Rear Admiral Sir Edward Pellew destroyed a Dutch squadron and a large number of merchant ships at Batavia in the East Indies.
November 26, 2009
On this day ... in 1778 & Others
In the Hawaiian Islands, Captain James Cook became the first European to visit Maui.
Continue reading "On this day ... in 1778 & Others"November 25, 2009
The next gun ban?
The right to ban air rifles in Scotland is expected to be handed to the Scottish government. Firearms legislation is usually handled in Westminster but in a recent review on devolution, Sir Kenneth Calman recommends its transfer to the government authorities in Holyrood. The SNP has long argued that Scotland needs to ban air rifles after a number of high profile cases of shootings following guns falling into the wrong hands.
· Details of the deal are in the UK government's white paper responding to the Calman Commission that is to be published soon.
· UK legislation of airguns has been tightened so that the minimum age to own an airgun is now 18, mail orders have been banned and all retailers must be registered.
· It is unlikely that the new legislation will become law before the General Election due to be held next year.
Anyone with an interest in shooting sports should be aware that the Labour government have pledged to hand new powers to the Scottish Parliament which will result in a ban on airgun ownership in Scotland. As with the 1997 handgun ban, this will do nothing to curb gun crime; it will merely deprive legitimate users of their guns and their hobby. The following petition...
The Calman Report recommends that The Scottish Parliament should be handed control of airgun legislation in Scotland. The Scottish Parliament will undoubtedly use this power to place a ban on unlicensed airguns in Scotland. This measure harms the legitimate sporting shooter and fails to address the real problem; that caused by unlawful use of airguns. Criminal use of airguns by its nature cannot be legislated against by removing airguns from those who abide by the law.
We believe that this ban will have an adverse effect on legitimate sporting shooting, and will provide no deterrent to those who misuse airguns. The Labour Party's own 'Charter for Shooting' (2005) recognises there is no connection between legitimate sporting shooting and gun crime. Airgun crime in Scotland has fallen according to the Gun Control Network's statistics from 1005 offences 15 years ago to 567 last year.
This new legislation would erode the civil liberties of sporting shooters in Scotland and fail to remove airguns from the hands of criminals.
We therefore petition you to refuse devolved power for Airgun legislation in Scotland.
...is running on the No.10 website
Traditional Hindu symbols No.7: The Swastika
An ancient solar sign considered to invoke auspiciousnes
Ammunition envy
Reader Walter has been helping a chum move house. This has included moving his friends not inconsiderable stash of ammuntion...
On This Day ... in 1120 & Others
The White Ship sank in the English Channel, drowning William Adelin, the only legitimate son of Henry I of England. The only known survivor was a butcher from Rouen. He was wearing thick ramskins that saved him from exposure, and was picked up by fishermen the next morning.
The death of William Adelin in this shipwreck resulted in the chaos following the death of King Henry I. The English Barons were reluctant to accept Matilda as Queen Regnant, causing Stephen of Blois to usurp the throne. Stephen, King Henry's nephew by his sister Adela, had allegedly disembarked just before the ship sailed. Orderic Vitalis attributes this to a sudden bout of diarrhoea. As a direct result of William's death, Stephen later usurped the English throne, resulting in the period known as the Anarchy or or The Nineteen Year Winter
Continue reading "On This Day ... in 1120 & Others"November 24, 2009
Cartridges
As several of you have asked, for game shooting I have been using Eley’s excellent VIP cartridges for a number of years now. For ‘normal’ pheasants I tend to go for 32 gram No.6’s but for the really high stuff such as I was shooting last week I normally drop down to No.5’s.
They are not the easiest on the shoulder & definitely not easy on the wallet but its exactly the rule as why you buy expensive centrefire hunting ammunition: when you are paying £30+VAT to shoot driven pheasants, the cost of cartridges pales into insignificance. Use the cheapest ammo you can find for practice & the very best you can afford for the real thing.
Climategate?
Is the real truth starting to come out?
If you own any shares in alternative energy companies I should start dumping them NOW. The conspiracy behind the Anthropogenic Global Warming myth (aka AGW; aka ManBearPig) has been suddenly, brutally and quite deliciously exposed after a hacker broke into the computers at the University of East Anglia’s Climate Research Unit (aka Hadley CRU) and released 61 megabites of confidential files onto the internet. (Hat tip: Watts Up With That)
When you read some of those files – including 1079 emails and 72 documents – you realise just why the boffins at Hadley CRU might have preferred to keep them confidential. As Andrew Bolt puts it, this scandal could well be “the greatest in modern science”. These alleged emails – supposedly exchanged by some of the most prominent scientists pushing AGW theory – suggest:
Conspiracy, collusion in exaggerating warming data, possibly illegal destruction of embarrassing information, organised resistance to disclosure, manipulation of data, private admissions of flaws in their public claims and much more.
On This Day ... in 1859 & Others
Charles Darwin published On the Origin of Species
November 23, 2009
Back to Hong Kong
Today dear readers, you find me in the (former) colonies
Tonight you might well find me in the Captains Bar
On This Day ... in 1901 & Others
An Australian officer, Lieutenant Leslie Cecil Maygar of the 5th Victorian Mounted Rifles, saw that an outpost was in danger of being outflanked by Boer troops, and galloped forward to order them to withdraw. As the men withdrew under heavy fire, one of their horses was shot, and its rider fell. Maygar went to his aid, and pulled him up behind his saddle, but his horse then bolted onto boggy ground. It being clear that the horse could not carry both of them on that ground, and the pair still coming under continual fire, Maygar gave up his horse to the other soldier, ordering him to gallop for cover as fast as possible, then made his own way back to safety on foot. Maygar was the sixth and last Australian to be awarded the Victoria Cross during the Boer War. His V.C. was presented by Lord Kitchener but before returning home in March 1902 he was also mentioned in dispatches.
Resuming work as a grazier at Euroa, Maygar also served as a lieutenant in the 8th (later 16th) Light Horse, V.M.R., and was promoted captain in 1905. He enlisted in the Australian Imperial Force soon after World War I broke out, on 20 August 1914 was appointed a captain in the 4th Light Horse Regiment and sailed for Egypt in October. On Gallipoli, with the dismounted light horse, he was promoted major. On 17 October 1915 he was given temporary command of the 8th L.H.R., both rank of lieutenant-colonel and command being confirmed in December. During the evacuation of Gallipoli Maygar, left in command of forty men, was instructed to hold the trenches, at all costs, till 2.30 a.m. He wrote: 'I had my usual good luck to be given command of the last party to pull out of the trenches, the post of honour for the 3rd L.H. Brigade'.
Maygar led his regiment throughout its service in Sinai and Palestine until his death and was a much-admired leader. During the 2nd battle of Gaza, on 19 April 1917, the 8th was in a most exposed sector and suffering heavy casualties. Maygar rode about the battlefield all day on his grey charger and 'in every crisis stirred the spirit of his regiment by his example in the firing line'. Sir Henry Gullett records that Maygar was 'always very bold in his personal leadership' and writes of 19 April: 'It was a day when true leaders recognised that their men needed inspiration, and Maygar gave it in the finest manner'. He was awarded the Distinguished Service Order in June 1917, and was thrice mentioned in dispatches in 1916-18. When Brigadier General J. R. Royston was invalided home, Colonel Maygar acted as brigadier general in command of the 3rd Light Horse Brigade.
Late on the day of the battle of Beersheba, 31 October 1917, a German aeroplane, using bombs and machine-guns, hit Maygar whose arm was shattered. The grey bolted into the darkness and was found later by 8th Regiment troopers but Maygar was not with him. 'He was picked up during the night by other troops … and, having lost too much blood, died the next day at Karm'. L. C. Maygar, 'Elsie' as he was affectionately known, was 'a true fighting commander'.
Continue reading "On This Day ... in 1901 & Others"November 22, 2009
I am actually here today, but not for much longer
Bags are packed
& in half an hours time I am off to the airport
On This Day ... in 1718 & Others
Lieutenant Robert Maynard, First Lieutenant of HMS Pearl finally ended the career of the notorious pirate Edward Teach, better known as Blackbeard, killing him in an epic hand-to-hand fight off the coast of North Carolina.
Maynard had departed Hampton, Virginia on November 19 and caught up to Teach at Ocracoke Inlet three days later. The Royal Navy sloops had to quickly close the range to Teach's vessel because they carried no cannon. Whilst the pirates struck first killing several of Maynard's crew, the remaining sailors hid below decks. Teach thinking he had wrought more damage than was the case boarded the Navy sloop. The fight became a vicious close quarter battle with Teach and Maynard fighting mano a mano; Maynard emerging triumphant from the dual having decapitated Teach.
The severed head was tied to the rigging of Maynard's ship for the return voyage to Virginia
Upon reaching Hampton, the head was placed on a stake near the mouth of the Hampton River as a warning to other pirates
Continue reading "On This Day ... in 1718 & Others"November 21, 2009
On This Day ... in 1787 & Others
Sir Samuel Cunard was born in Halifax, Nova Scotia. Cunard started working in the timber business with his father, then expanded into shipping. He was a founder of the Halifax Bank in 1825 and became a shareholder in the Royal William in 1833.
By 1838 he had founded the British and North American Royal Mail Steam Packet Company, later known as the Cunard Line, and won the Royal Mail contract for ten years. In 1840, his company’s first steamship, the Britannia, with Cunard himself at the helm, made the voyage from Liverpool to Boston in 14 days and 8 hours, beginning the first regular transatlantic service by steamship.
Cunard launched his first iron ship, the Persia, in 1855, and by his first screw-propelled ship, the China, in 1862. He was knighted by Queen Victoria in 1859 for his contributions to British shipping. He died in London on 28 Apr 1865
November 20, 2009
& the scores on the doors?
I have no idea quite how many cartridges I went through today but over 5 drives, 8 of us had a bag of 370 pheasants
Of course, the percussive affect of so much shooting is the reason that I have a headache this evening, definitely not as a result of a very long liquid dinner last night, taken at Northmoor House, where we were staying
At least the forecast rain stayed away & on several drives, it was sunglasses not waterproofs that were required
& now, if you don’t mind I’m going to turn in as I’m feeling a tad tired & emotional. Tomorrow is going to be nearly as busy
On This Day ... in 1759 & Others
Admiral Sir Edward Hawke won his great victory at Quiberon Bay. Bad weather had forced Hawke to suspend his blockade of the French fleet under the Comte de Conflans in Brest. Conflans seized the chance to put to sea to rendezvous with an invasion fleet assembling in Quiberon Bay. Hawke pursued, but Conflans hoped that, without local knowledge, he would not dare to follow him in amidst the treacherous rocks of the Bay during a gale. Hawke followed him, trusting in the seamanship of his crews.
A ferocious action was fought in appalling conditions, with collision between ships proving particularly common. Two Royal Navy ships - Essex and Resolution - were wrecked on the Four Shoal, but eleven of the French fleet of 21 were captured or sunk.
November 19, 2009
The back of Larry Land Rover this evening
Kit, Beretta, 250 cartridges ... because tomorrow is going to be a big day & a lot of waterproofs because it is going to be very very very wet. Your humble correspondent is off to the darkest West Country to shoot some pheasants
Sandwell Council - this mornings candidates for a shallow grave
Found by Matt (Minister for Womens Prisons)
A mother who was fined for feeding the ducks with her young son in the park will not now have to pay the charge.Vanessa Kelly was in Smethwick Hall Park, in Smethwick, West Midlands, when she was approached by a warden and given a £75 on-the-spot littering fine.
The warden then told Ms Kelly her son could continue to feed the ducks as he was too young to be fined. Sandwell Council, which at first defended the action, said it was now taking a "commonsense" approach.
These days, I'm just the Minister for Uniforms so could whoevers portfolio this falls under kindly go & sort matters out reasonably quickly
Thank you
Secret Service job applications
As I pointed out yesterday, if under the new regime you fancy life as secret squirrel, you are not really supposed to tell anyone that you had applied for a job. Frankly applying to be Head of the Mauritius Station on this blog is generally felt by those in that particular line of business to be not really secret enough. Therefore rather than simply provide a downloadable application form; our new clandestine service selection criteria will be a little more subtle. Think of it less of a normal interview process & more as Rowan Atkinson once described it, like a blind man, in a dark room, looking for a black cat … that isn’t there.
It goes without saying that despite being an equal opportunities employer secretive types will be preferred; previous experience with raincoats & sunglasses would be an advantage but not essential. Applicants must be able to keep secrets but at the same time be able to lie like a cheap NAAFI watch if caught in the act (& in view of this requirement, preference will be shown to married men). The job specification will include being seduced by glamorous foreign operatives (seeking our state secrets). These advances must be occasionally spurned for the sake of appearances.
Results of all job applications will remain subject to the provisions of the Official Secrets Act until the new Government has actually discovered the identity of M.
A generous remuneration package is offered together with index linked pension - the details are however secret, so cannot be released until after applicants join the service.
Salaries will be paid into secret bank accounts at secret intervals in unspecified countries under assumed names from a secret slush fund, that the Government does not know exists Successful applicants are expected to find out for themselves where and when, and how much they will earn.
As a preliminary test, applicants are invited to help solve the coded text of a postcard received from the as yet unidentified M and inform the appropriate Minister (who cannot be named) of his real identity and whereabouts at this time. Postcard displays voluptuous thong clad blonde sitting on the beach (obviously intended to mislead). The text on back reads Putting the slush fund to good use finding suitable candidates for under-covers activities, glad you're not here, cheers, M & is postmarked Antigua
Continue reading "Secret Service job applications"National Ammo Day
I am sure that none of you need reminding but today is National Ammo Day. As I knew that I wouldn't be able to get to a gunshop today, over the weekend I picked up some .222.
What have you bought?
On This Day ... in 1095 & Others
The Council of Clermont was called by Pope Urban II to discuss sending the First Crusade to the Holy Land: The actual Council began on the 27th. The church had fallen on hard times following the lifelong clash between Pope Hildebrand and Emperor Henry IV but Urban II was a vigorous leader who sought peace in Western Europe. Five differing accounts of the Pope's speech survive
To whom therefore has the labor of avenging these wrongs and of recovering the territory fallen, if not upon you? You, upon whom above other nations God has conferred remarkable glory in arms, great courage, bodily activity, and strength to humble the hairy scalp of those who resist you ... advance boldly, as knights of Christ, and rush as quickly as you can to the defense of the Eastern Church. For she it is from whom the joys of your whole salvation have come forth, who poured into your mouths the milk of divine wisdom, who set before you the holy teachings of the gospel
At the Council, Pope Urban promoted the concept of a Truce of God which would restrain violence at home and move it to the Middle East where it resides to this day
Continue reading "On This Day ... in 1095 & Others"November 18, 2009
Jobs for the boys ( & girls)
We recently touched upon how you could help, come The Glorious Day & frankly I have to say that I was quite overwhelmed the many generous offers assistance. However this morning I would like to move on from that & assume that the shallow graves have been filled & the crows have picked the bones of the liberals that still hang from the lampposts, clean.
The task that would then sit ahead of us would be how to divi up the loot as well as who wants what job. Contrary to a lot of recent media speculation, I wouldn’t want the post of Benevolent Dictator as it frankly sounds like far too much hard work & I would hope that in a saner world to devote much more time to general carousing activities. Therefore I would seek immediate appointment as Minister of Uniforms on the basis that I hold very sound views on both the proper use of epaulettes, exactly how many medals should be awarded & how often
Jobs in the newly formed Secret Service are highly confidential (but we will deal with the secret selection criteria tomorrow) & in a piece of audacious pre-emptive commenting yesterday morning, Col. Beausaber blagged himself the post of Chief Inspector of Brothels.
Other than that, everything else is up for grabs … so which job do you want?
Guns & women
Found somewhere by Johno
6 reasons men prefer guns to women…
1. You can trade in that ratty old 45 for a new 22
2. You can admire a friends gun & he will let you try it out
3. Your gun stays with you even if you run out of ammo
4. Guns function normally everyday
5. A gun doesn’t mind if you fall asleep after you use it
And…
6. You can buy a silencer for a gun
In fact I spent a little time on yesterdays flight thinking up of a few more that all seemed to entail getting actions tightened up & barrels re-sleeved; however in an uncharacteristic bout of decorum, haven’t posted them. Now ladies you’re a cordially invited to comment … (hint: trigger sears etc)
Behind enemy lines
Tonight I find myself sausageside. The evening however has not been without its errrrrrrrrr compensations
More African Infantryman of the Year contestants
If you take a quick look at the left hand side bar you will see that I have now created a new section for our African Infantryman of the Year competition – all that I have to do is to go back through all of the old posts – a task which if the bollroll update is anything to go by should take something like 18 months.
However while you are waiting for that we have a couple of new contestants in the ‘Hoodies from da Hood’ category. Now when we say hoodie, we don’t mean the sort of garment favoured by one Great Britain’s knife wielding feral yoof…we mean the full nine yards… hoods so bitchin’ that Abubakar
& Jay Jay Nough no longer need their weapon sights
they just use the Force
On This Day ... in 1776 & Others
Fort Washington was captured from American revolutionary forces. Meanwhile the United Provinces recognized the independence of the United States
In November 1776 the last position the Americans held on Manhattan Island was the area around Fort Washington on the northern tip, known as Harlem Heights. General Nathan Greene commanded the American positions with a discretion to withdraw if he considered it necessary.
General Howe planned three attacks. Brigadier Lord Percy was to attack from the South up the island. Brigadier Matthews with the light infantry and Guards to cross the Harlem River and attack Baxter on the east side, supported by Lord Cornwallis with the grenadiers and the 33rd Foot. The main attack was to be on Rawlings’ position by Hessian troops commanded by General Von Knyphausen. An additional assault was to be carried out on the same side by the 42nd under Colonel Sterling. (the grenadiers, light infantry, Guards, 33rd and 42nd were the corps regularly used for particularly demanding assignments. It is interesting that the 33rd had a consistently high reputation throughout the1740s and 1750s).
Early on the 18th November, Howe called on the fort to surrender. This was refused. A bombardment broke out from British batteries across the Harlem River and the frigate Pearl on the American positions.At 10am Percy advanced to the attack. At noon Matthews landed on Manhattan and began his assault. Baxter was killed and is militia fled into the fort.
Knyphausen crossed onto Manhattan at Kingsbridge and at 10am began his move south. The two Hessian columns assaulted American positions and after a hard fight with Rawlings’ riflemen the Americans fell back into the fort.
Percy attacked Cadwallader in the South and the 42nd landed on the east side and pushed inland behind Cadwallader’s position, forcing the Americans to fall back to the fort. With all his troops pinned in Fort Washington under heavy fire, Magaw was forced to surrender to the Hessian general Knyphausen.
The British side suffered 450 casualties of which 320 were Hessians. The Americans suffered 2,900 casualties of which the preponderance were prisoners. Following the battle Fort Lee on the west bank of the Hudson was abandoned and Washington and the Continental Arm retreated to the Delaware.
Continue reading "On This Day ... in 1776 & Others"November 17, 2009
This morning I shall be in Oxford
I know that it is very easy to form a poor opinion of a place when it is tonking with rain but shall we just say that my worst fears of Cardiff were entirely justified. Walk through the city centre at ten thirty on a Monday morning & you realise that it isn’t so much the heart of a reinvigorated Principality as a repository of the unemployed unemployable. Even a cursory glace might lead the casual observer to conclude that main thing that both men & women have in common (aside from BMI scores in the low 50s) are the tattoos. In fact one feral couple arguing in the middle of Queen Street were so dense that light had started to bend towards them: I cannot not begin to articulate how pleased I was to see that M4 Eastbound motorway sign.
This morning & as if by way of contrast, you find me on my way to Oxford; an altogether more civilised destination. It’s off to Oxford today before getting on a plane this evening.
Pip pip.
Cheryl Cole update
Reader AJDS saw this comment about Cheryl Cole in a newspaper
"Somewere in the north a supermarket checkout goes unattended......"
Yep, I'd say that that has the right line & length on it
Peasant Chic
According to lifestyle magazine Peasant World, men's feet will be "in" this coming season. Accessorize with a wheelbarrow full of horse manure.
Ex-soldier faces jail for handing in gun
Yesterday we touched upon how our terminally flawed penal system deals with psychotic murderers, well this morning dear readers & by way of contrast, we see how the equally screwed legal system treats a law abiding member of society undertaking what in any sane country would be seen as a civic duty
A former soldier who handed a discarded shotgun in to police faces at least five years imprisonment for "doing his duty". Paul Clarke, 27, was found guilty of possessing a firearm at Guildford Crown Court on Tuesday – after finding the gun and handing it personally to police officers on March 20 this year.
The jury took 20 minutes to make its conviction, and Mr Clarke now faces a minimum of five year's imprisonment for handing in the weapon. In a statement read out in court, Mr Clarke said: "I didn't think for one moment I would be arrested. I thought it was my duty to hand it in and get it off the streets."
The court heard how Mr Clarke was on the balcony of his home in Nailsworth Crescent, Merstham, when he spotted a black bin liner at the bottom of his garden. In his statement, he said:
"I took it indoors and inside found a shorn-off shotgun and two cartridges.I didn't know what to do, so the next morning I rang the Chief Superintendent, Adrian Harper, and asked if I could pop in and see him. At the police station, I took the gun out of the bag and placed it on the table so it was pointing towards the wall."
Mr Clarke was then arrested immediately for possession of a firearm at Reigate police station, and taken to the cells.
Continue reading "Ex-soldier faces jail for handing in gun"Is this the job you always wanted?
Found by McHugh
Ale taster needed for town market - A job tasting drink and food is being advertised in Bedfordshire. Luton's indoor market is resurrecting the role of ale taster and is looking for suitable volunteer candidates. In medieval times the ale taster would visit stalls and inns on market days and at fairs to ensure alcoholic drinks and other produce were of good quality. The role disappeared in the early 19th Century, but is now being brought back. The future employer said a "genuine love of food and drink" is essential.
Town and Country Markets, which runs the market, is advertising the job. Chief executive Malcolm Ball said: "Although the attraction of such a role may seem obvious at first, the 21st Century version would incorporate many more responsibilities than the original.
"Modern tastes have evolved and become so much more sophisticated in recent times and people demand ever greater levels of quality and variety. We fully expect this to be reflected in the calibre of applicants. The successful candidate will have a sound knowledge and genuine love of food and drink, local expertise in these areas being particularly attractive."
Applicants will be considered by a panel of judges and four people will be short-listed to complete a number of challenges to demonstrate their knowledge and ability.
Let's just say that my application is already in & I am looking forward to domonstrating both my knowledge & ability
On This Day ... in 1812 & Others
The Battle of Krasnoi was a series of skirmishes fought over 4 days during in the final stage of Napoleon's retreat from Moscow. These enguagements are noteworthy because of the heavy losses inflicted on the remnants of the Grande Armée by the Russians under the command of General Mikhail Illarionovich Kutuzov.
Lacking sufficient artillery, cavalry and supplies to wage battle, Napoleon’s objective was to collect his scattered troops and to resume his retreat. Despite the vast superiority of his forces, Kutusov refrained from launching a full-scale offensive during the of fighting.
The climax of the engagement occurred on November 17th, when an aggressive feint by the French Imperial Guard induced Kutusov to delay a potentially decisive final Russian attack. Napoleon was thus able to withdraw part of his army before the Russians seized Krasnoi.
Despite Napoleon's success in saving part of his army from destruction at Krasnoi, overall the encounter was ruinous to the French.
During the four days of combat Napoleon’s subordinate commanders suffered heavy defeats in individual actions, and large numbers of French stragglers were captured by the Russians. The Grande Armee was also compelled to abandon much of its remaining artillery and baggage train.
November 16, 2009
Why exactly?
A woman convicted of murder who went on the run from hospital during an escorted visit to shops has been arrested in south London
Patricia Gillette, 41, was arrested on Sunday morning in Streatham after officers saw her in Churchmore Road. Gillette, who was being held at Bethlem Royal Hospital, was on a visit to shops in West Wickham High Street, Bromley, when she escaped on Friday afternoon
Let me see here, Ms Gillette has been indefinitely detained in Bethlem Royal Hospital which is a legal euphemism for being sent to the nut house because she is stark raving bonkers & not only that, but she has been convicted of murder & yet we have a penal system that allows her to go shopping. The more you look, the less you understand.
Apparently its swine flu season again
However assuming that western civilisation doesn’t grind to a halt in a sea of mass graves & hysterical newspaper reports, we will need to find a use for all of those face masks, a bit like these Ukrainian ladies
On This Day ... in 1857 & Others
The Shah Nuliff Fort at Lucknow was attacked and captured by British and Sikh forces during the Indian Mutiny. William Hall, a Canadian serving with the Royal Marines onboard HMS Shannon, distinguished himself in combat, for which he was awarded the Victoria Cross.
British military forces and many foreign civilians were besieged at Lucknow. In September, a relief column managed to fight through to the city but was also cut off by the attackers, who numbered approximately 50,000. The second relief column numbered approximately 5,000 troops and brought with them two 24-pound howitzers from HMS Shannon.
Hall was serving as a marine gunner in this ship and volunteered to be a member of “The Shannon Brigade.” A preliminary bombardment of the enemy strongpoint at the Shah Nuliff Fort produced no results. To breach the walls, the guns were moved forward to fire directly at low angel from very close range. The defenders’ fire killed the entire crew of one howitzer and all but two from Hall’s gun; the second man Lieutenant Thomas James Young was seriously wounded.
Despite the fierceness of the enemy fire, the two men methodically fired upon the fort until the wall was breached, whereupon a bayonet charge caused the defenders to flee from their stronghold. The rebels withdrew temporarily, giving the besieged forces and civilians at Lucknow the opportunity to withdraw from the city, which was not recaptured until March 1858. The rebellion was finally crushed in November.
Both Hall and Young were awarded the Victoria Cross.
On 25 Oct 1859, Hall was presented with his award in a ceremony held onboard HMS Donegal, at Queenstown, Ireland. Hall, a freed slave, was the first man of African origin to receive the award and was the first person from any of the Dominions of the Commonwealth to be so recognized
During the same engagement, volunteers were called for to climb a tree near the wall of the Shah Nujeff mosque in order to spot the enemy's position and then to dislodge the mutineers who were throwing grenades and firing on the gun crews below. Lieutenant Nowell Salmon, Leading Seaman John Harrison and an able seaman responded to the call and succeeded in performing this dangerous service, but Lieutenant Salmon was wounded in the thigh and the able seaman was killed.Salmon received the Victoria Cross, later achieving the rank of Admiral of the Fleet
