June 30, 2009
Death of a Battalion (Reposted)
While the liberal left British media crow about British & US losses in Iraq & 'The Stan', this morning I want to introduce something that your humble correspondent has little of ... perspective & yes, I have been watch Band of Brothers over the weekend.
My father-in-law, the Old Salthorse tells the story of his father, a YO with the RWF during WWI & at one point, the only officer still alive in the battalion. However, during the campaign in North West Europe 1944 - 45, units spent more time in action & suffered higher casualty rates than their counter parties did in the Great War. One example of the intensity of the fighting in the Normandy bridgehead is the fate of the 6th Battalion, Duke of Wellington's Rifles.
Having fought a traumatic battle at Le Parc de Boislande they remained to plug a gap outside Fontenay-le-Pesnel, which the SS Div Hitler Jugend was attempting to force. After 14 days of continuous fighting, their replacement CO (his predecessor having been killed), submitted the following report;
Report on the State of the 6th Bn DWR (49 Div) as on 30 Jun [1944]
1. I arrived at 6 DWR on the evening of 26 June. From am 27 June until 30 June we have been in contact with the enemy & under moderate heavy mortar & shell fire.
2. The following facts make it clear that this report makes no reflection on the state of 6 DWR when they left UK:
a) In 14 days there have been some 23 officers & 350 OR casualties.
b) Only 12 of the original offices remain & they are all junior. The CO & every rank above Cpl (except 2 Lts) in battalion HQ have gone, all company commanders have gone. One company has lost every officer, another has only one [officer] left.
c) Since I took over I have lost two second-in-commands in successive days and a company commander on the third day.
d) Majority of transport, all documents, records and a large amount of equipment were lost.
3. State of Men
a) 75% of men react adversely to enemy shelling & are 'jumpy'.
b) 5 cases in 3 days of self-inflicted wounds - more possible cases.
c) Each time men are killed or wounded a number of men become casualties through shell shock or hysteria.
d) In addition to genuine hysteria a large number of men have left their positions after shelling on one pretext or another & gone to the rear until sent back by the MO or myself.
e) The new drafts have been affected, & 3 young soldiers became casualties with hysteria after hearing our own guns.
f) The situation has got worse each day as more key personnel have become casualties.
4. Discipline & Leadership
a) State of discipline is bad, although the men are a cheerful pleasant type normally.
b) NCOs do not wear stripes & some offices have no badges of rank. This makes the situation impossible when 50% of the battalion do not know each other.
c) NCO leadership is weak in most cases & newly drafted officers are in consequence havimg to expose themselves unduly to try & get anything done. It is difficult for the new officers (60%) to lead the men under fire as they do not know them.
5. Conclusion
a) 6 DWR is not to fit to take its place in the line.
b) Even excluding the question of nerves & moral 6 DWR will not be fit to go back into the line until it is remobilised, reorganised, & to an extent retrained. It is no longer a battalion but a collection of individuals. There is naturally no esprit de corps for those who are frightened (as we all are to one degree or another) to fall back on. I have twice had to stand at the end of a track & draw my revolver on retreating men.
6. Recommendation
If it is not possible to withdraw the battalion to the base or UK to re-equip, reorganise & train, then it should be disbanded & split among other units.
If essential that the battalion should return to the line, I request that I may be relieved of my command & I suggest that a CO with 2 to 3 years experience should relieve me & that he should bring his adjutant and a signals officer with him.
Being a regular officer I realise the seriousness of this request & its effect on my career. On the other hand I have the lives of the new personnel (which is excellent) to consider. Three days running a major has been killed or seriously wounded because I have ordered them to in effect stop the men running during mortar concentrations. Unless withdrawn from the division I do not think I can get the battalion fit to fight normally & this waste of life would continue. My honest opinion is that if you continue to throw new officer & other rank replacements into 6 DWR as casualties occur, you are throwing good money after bad.
I know my opinion is shared by two other commanding officers who know the full circumstances.
A.J.D. Turner
Lt.-Col. Commanding 6 DWR
In the field, 30 June 1944
Yes the world has changed but our enemy today is just as dangerous as our enemy of 60 years ago - we a fortunate that we haven't yet suffered the same losses as our parents / grandparents. & as for the battalion, it was pulled out of the line, remaining officers & men rested before it was disbanded.
June 8, 2009
Desert issue?
It is often said that officers are issued with ‘G10’ Labradors. I suppose that on that basis, we could be considered to be currently troop trialling the new desert issue lab...
Of course, any lab worth its salt considers the dessert issue to be more pressing
June 4, 2009
Why not just give them cups of tea?
Nearly a dozen pirates armed with rocket-propelled grenades, machineguns and grappling hooks have been seized in the Gulf of Aden, after being intercepted by a Royal Navy warship.
Two skiffs had been detected by the radar on board HMS Portland, a Type 23 frigate, which was originally designed for anti-submarine warfare.
Suspecting that they were “not innocent fishing vessels”, the frigate, commanded by Commander Tim Henry, steamed closer to the skiffs and saw that both vessels were filled with weaponry and ammunition. The ship’s Lynx helicopter was sent to hover over the skiffs while teams of Royal Marine and navy personnel in rigid inflatable boats sped towards the craft and disarmed the ten men on board. The Lynx was armed with a machinegun and snipers.
“The skiffs were equipped with extra barrels of fuel, grappling hooks and a cache of weapons that included rocket-propelled grenades, machineguns and ammunition,” navy officials said.
... & later that day, the pirates were hanged from HMS Portland’s yardarm let go, yes really, so frankly why frigging well bother in the first place – Nelson, Fisher, Beatty & Ramsey must all be turning in their graves.
However as opposed to heaping invective upon the Senior Service for being subject to crappy rules of engagement I will look for a positive: at least this time the Navy personnel & Royal Marines involved didn’t end up getting captured & paraded on television. Beyond that, it’s possibly best not to say any more
May 28, 2009
Everything you ever wanted to know about mid upper turrets
We started this week with a picture of twin mounted fifty calibre machine guns which has spurred a bit of debate about their use in Lancaster bombers. So this morning & just because, here's a little more on this particular topic...
The Martin 250 CE is a 24 volt, electrically operated turret containing two .50 calibre machine guns. Four ammunition boxes provide 1600 rounds of ammunition. It was mounted on the top of the aircraft, about mid-way down the fuselage.
This turret was used on American bombers such as the A-20 Havoc, B-24 Liberator, B-17 Flying Fortress, and B-26 Marauder. During the war, the Royal Canadian Air Force realized the limitations of their .303 calibre machine guns and took steps to switch from the hydraulically operated Fraser-Nash mid-upper turrets to the Martin. However, this modification was only included on the last 276 of the 431 Canadian built Lancasters.
Should you require yet more, its here
May 13, 2009
May 6, 2009
Joanna Lumley: The next Mrs T?
30 years ago yesterday, Maggie moved into 10 Downing Street which is why, over the weekend, the papers were full of retrospectives ... well at least a few column inches covered that happiest part of our recent history: the rest of my Sunday Torygraph seemed to be devoted to dire predictions of the forthcoming flu pandemic that somewhat embarrassingly hasn’t really happened yet. Inconvenient I know, but I really don’t want to be drawn into making comparisons between killer swine flu & impending global environmental catastrophe – yes, I’m a bit of an old cynic but until the entire population of Bangladesh has been drowned I will continue to drive my Land Rover Globalwarmer. Once the entire population of Bangladesh is doing a passable imitation of the General Belgrano, it will be way too late for those tiresome Irish minstrels to hold a Snorkel Aid concert & we can send the newly reformed Black & Tans to sort of Sir Bob & Boneo once & for all. What a blessing that would be.
However to return to this mornings little theme, in the same way that Maggie (may blessings be upon her name) stormed into Westminster, for a few glorious moments last week, it looked like the redoubtable Ms Lumley might just do the same...
Given our complete lack of electoral choices, a party formed of retired Gurkhas led by Ms Lumley, standing for compulsory goat curry & promising to sort out our dumded down chav-culture with judicious use of their kukris would certainly get my unsteady tick in the box. Think of it as casting a protest vote – successive administrations have allowed once Great Britain to be overrun by just about every whinging ethnic minority load of bl**dy wogs with an open hand & a grievance you care to mention. However when it comes to those who have done nothing but loyally serve Her Majesty, the Westminster pondlife treat them with nothing but utter distain.
In fact, forget an electoral mandate, much better that Ms Lumley were to unleash both her & our anger upon Parliament, & let Johnny get well & truly stuck in. That might well help the Parliament Channel’s ratings.
April 16, 2009
We all need a bit of religious instruction from time to time....
This comes from Gweilicus & in its original form was written by a cousin on the left hand side of the pond. Your humble correspondent has Angliscised it a bit this evening but I feel sure that you lot can improve it further....
In the beginning God created the Heavens and the Earth and the Infantry. And God looked upon the Infantry, saw that it was good, and said unto them "Thou art my chosen children. Take thou dominion over the Earth; over the fish of the Sea, the birds of the Air, and all of the Key Terrain".
And as a mark of His favour the Lord placed in the hands of the Infantry the sacred relics: the Apostolic Anti-Armour Weapon, the Catholic Claymore, and the Marian Machine Gun.
Likewise giveth the Lord unto the Infantry the Rucksack of Repentance, the Radio of Redemption, the Rifle of Rectitude. Lastly, unto the Infantry, and most divine of all, the Lord giveth the Holy Hand Grenade (of Antioch? Ed)
For the Infantry's sustenance the Lord declared "Four shall be thy food groups: brews, egg banjos, smokos (pref B&H), & booze. Shun all other unclean food and drink."
And the Infantry dwelt in the land therein.
And time passed, and the Infantry cried out unto their God saying "Lord, help us, for we are weary." And God smiled upon the Infantry, for they were blessed. Then the Lord took the fattest and laziest of the Infantry and set them upon beasts of burden. And these He called Cavalry became fatter, lazier and heavier still until they were known as Armour, or CITs for short.
And the Lord looked down upon the Cavalry and saw that it was mediocre. The Lord then said "Oh, well. Thou canst not win them all. Let them lead in case of landmines." & to them the Lord said "Fish eggs shall be thy food, and Bolli thy drink. Touch not the sacred scoff of the Infantry."
And the Infantry, the Cavalry and the Armour dwelt in the land therein.
And time passed and the Infantry cried out again unto their Lord saying "Lord help us, for we are weary." And God smiled again upon the Infantry, for they were his chosen. Then God took those of the Armour with butts like baseplates and breath like sulphur and these He made Artillery. But God saw that the Artillery, too, was mediocre and said unto Himself, "Oh well, garbage in; garbage out."
Unto the Artillery He said "The big guns shall atone in part for thy diminutive other stature. Tryest thou not to hurt thyselves." To the Infantry the Lord said "When the night is darkest these shall light the way...more or less. When the approach is most open these shall, occasionally - with luck, confound the enemy's sight. When thou callest for fire support these shall - eventually - provide it with HE, cluster munitions and, best of all, Willie Peter"
Though the Lord cautioned the Infantry to never, never, never trust Tacfire or any other electronic computer in the hands of the Artillery.
And the Infantry, the Cavalry, the Armour and Artillery dwelt in the land therein. Then the Artillery created the Cloud Punchers; but quickly asked forgiveness.
And time passed and the Infantry called out yet again unto their God, saying "Lord help us, for we are weary." Again the Lord looked with favour upon the Infantry. He took those of the Armour, Artillery who most liked to play in the mud and these he made Combat Engineers, and those who dwelt in darkness and spoke in riddles and these he made Military Intelligence, and those with thieving hearts and these He made Quartermasters, and of those who neither sowed nor reaped and were most fond of hammering square pegs into round holes He made Adjutants General. Of those who liked to tinker with good equipment until it broke He made the Ordnance Corps.
Of those whose penchant was poison He made Cooks. Of those who ran around in circles He made the Royal Military Police. Of the least articulate He made Signallers. Of those who dealt in controlled substances He made the Medics.
And the Infantry, and the others, dwelt in the land therein.
Time passed, but yet, again, the Infantry cried out unto their God, saying, "Lord, help us, for we are weary." And the Heavens darkened, and the clouds gathered. The lightnings spake and the Infantry abased themselves before their God, for they were sore afraid. And the Lord spoke with anger, asking "How canst thou yet be weary? Have I not made the Armour and the Artillery to support thee? Have I not made of the detritus of the Earth, Quartermasters and Adjutants and Signallers and Transporters and a host of others to assist thee? Verily, have I not even made Military Intelligence, although it were a contradiction in terms?"
Humbly the Infantry abased themselves again before their God, crying, "Lord, it is of these that we are weary."
March 24, 2009
Call me an old softy, but I'm a sucker for a story with a happy ending
Pointed out by Kim
My breathing slows and I start to scan. And what to my wondering eyes should appear but two booger eaters on the far ridge, Booger eater is our new derogatory term for the enemy. Once again please don’t comment about my cultural sensitivity, I know it’s insensitive to call them booger eaters. But, I know they call us some derogatory names too. What fun is war if you can’t make up names about your enemy.
They look at me and I them across the valley; a distance of about 2 kilometers. We stare at each other through binoculars for a couple of seconds and then they move into a bunker. They seem unconcerned because of the valley separating us believing it keeps them safe. Oh, silly rabbit but I have two F-15s.
The rest, including the happy ending is here
February 26, 2009
Can't pay, won't pay?
I love the whole concept behind of this little tale from Down Under…
A failed chain of command that bungled payments to Special Air Service troops pressured soldiers to "pay up and shut up". The Rudd Government has been under pressure to resolve the concerns of SAS soldiers, returning from Afghanistan, who have been presented with debt recovery action for overpayments of allowances of up to $50,000.
SAS members have been threatened with disciplinary action and possible expulsion from their unit if they complain about an army pay mistake that threatens to cost them tens of thousands of dollars.
Both Air Chief Marshal Houston and army chief Ken Gillespie told a Senate hearing in Canberra that no soldier would have their pay cut …Debt recovery action had ceased and those whose pay had been deducted would be repaid.
So Rudd’s bungling civil servants cock up their Special Forces pay & then try & send in the debt collectors when the boys get back from an active service tour.
Now that’only gone to end one way - sending a couple of fat knacker debt collectors who fancy themselves as a bit tasty try & serve ‘notice’ on Tom Trooper? It’s an express service to a swift centre of body mass double tap followed in pretty short order by a single control shot. Rather like my suggestion of yesterday morning to televise Jade Goody’s demise - bagsy syndicate the TV rights to this one as well
February 5, 2009
& now to our Thursday morning contestant
This morning’s entry in our African Infantryman of the Year competition is in the Junior Section. Young Bonokai here proves that just because you have bunked off from school, it doesn’t mean that you can’t spare the time to learn to tie your tie properly.
Spotted on ARRSE
February 3, 2009
Fighting knives
Over the last couple of days, your humble correspondent & our friend from Texas have been discussing fighting knives: a weighty & pertinent topic, what with the forthcoming local elections. Kukris … Messers Fairburn & Sykes immortal design & to be honest, tonight, I had a little bit of an Empire moment, what with all the talk of cold steel. Maybe I am maybe not alone in thinking that places like Iraq, Afghanistan or indeed the Gaza Strip are suitable places to re-introduce long-lost techniques of warfare. For instance, instead of cruising around in Landrovers waiting to get blown up by IEDs, perhaps the Army should try long lines of armed men snaking through the crowded bazaars. When Johnny Native tries to cut up a bit rough, the Toms could form a thin red line & indulge in a spot of volley fire. This was an infamously deadly tactic when soldiers carried the Brown Bess so replicating it with fully automatic weapons would be utterly splatter-tastic.
But lets not stop there... some good old-fashioned swordsmanship could come in handy as well. Sometimes a person will get shot & just slump over. No screaming, no fountain of blood, no nothing ... dull dull dull! Imagine the visual impact of an infedel, lopping off 1/3rd of your neighbour's head & then watching that poor sod stumble around in the street with a geyser of blood arcing out of his brutalized skull while the rest of the boys in the section push him around with rifles at the high port. Now that's how to get your message across!
Watching a 20 lb. slab of flesh fall from a fleeing looters back as he gets sliced by a sabre-wielding cavelryman would do more to put the fear of God into those people than any remotely-administered shock n awe hearts & minds reconstruction nonsense. In fact not so many years ago, a young & impressionable officer was discussing combat knifes with a very solid Sergeant. Said Sergeant, distilled 5,000 years of hand to hand combat within the context of the Cold War and gave his analysis as follows:
Well sir, you jump into a trench & stick a knife in some fooooking Roooski, 'is mate will fooooking shoot you. Get yourself an axe ... he said, tapping the hatchet he was wearing on his belt order ... you jump into a trench and lop some fooooking Roooski's 'ead off, 'is mate won't want to foooking know!
Wise words indeed !
January 27, 2009
& now let’s hear it for our Tuesday morning contestants
Continuing our African Infantryman of the Year competition we have two new entrants. Firstly in the Fire & Manoeuvre category we have Sundaygar…
Sundaygar is a firm believer that muzzle velocity is directly proportional to how hard you tug on the trigger. He also cautions his many many fans to ensure that the stock of your personal weapon is kept clear of the shoulder at all times.
Second up, & modelling this seasons Mothercare Militia-Gurl range, we have I’satta
I’satta assures us that baby body armour strapped to your chest, affords adequate protection against calibres up to & including 9mm Parabellum as well as the sorts of shrapnel & ricochets often encountered in the urban environment
January 6, 2009
Willie Peter makes you a believer
We first touched upon White Phosphorus back in November 2005 when the Septics were doling out the good news to insurgents terrorists in Fulluja. Needless to say, at that time the MSM was getting a tad angsty about its use…
Of course, comments like this wont stop the finger pointing & salacious accusations from the al-Baghdad Broadcasting Corporation.
Now as then, WP is coming in for a slating but this time from The Times
Israel is believed to be using controversial white phosphorus shells to screen its assault on the heavily populated Gaza Strip yesterday. The weapon, used by British and US forces in Iraq, can cause horrific burns but is not illegal if used as a smokescreen.
For those of you that have never played with White Phosphorus or WP, it is known in the trade a Willie Peter & it is said of it that Willie Peter makes you a believer. Ironic eh? Aside from that, it is ideal for making the most excellent smoke screens & if a few terrorists get crispy crittered in the process, so much the better.
Has there been collateral damage? Yes of course there has & civilian casualties are always regreable however the residents of the Sunset Strip are all culpable by allowing Hamas terrorists to fire hundreds if not thousands of rockets into Israel. It’s a joint & several liabilty thing: Germans & the Japanese understand.
From the beginning of [2008] until June 19, Israel was struck by 2,660 projectiles fired from Gaza. From June 19, when the ceasefire went into effect, to Nov. 4, the total was 65. From Nov. 5 to Dec. 10, 237 mortar shells and rockets have been fired from Gaza at towns in Southern Israel
That chap who runs the UN, Willie Wonka or whatever the hell his name is, keeps banging on about proportionality but I have not yet seen a table that properly shows the mathematical relationship between a Hamas terrorist’s rocket fired indiscriminately at Israeli civilians & an Izzie 1,000 lb laser guided bomb aimed back at said terrorists. Maybe Mr Wonka should confine himself to sorting out UN’s unpaid parking tickets until such time as he can come up with such a relationship.
Kapok beats denim
For this mornings entry in our competition we have to revisit the original post & in particular, this 2007 contestant
The nautical theme is ever popular as is seen by this militiaman wearing a stylish Kapok life jacket. It wont stop a bullet but it sure looks Boo-yaa!
Indeed several readers were moved to comment on the lack personal protection from small arms fire that a Kapok life vest affords. Oh ye of little faith. What probably none of us realised at that time was that said garment had clearly had the full Ju-Ju man treatment, because our hero is just fine, dandy & giving it rockall, where as his oppo who made the typical rooky militiaman’s error of eschewing the Kapok & instead going into combat in designer denim. He got shot…
So there you have it ... Kevlar ... Kapok... its all pretty much the same: But for goodness sake, nobody tell those nangers at the Defence Procurement Agency because you just know what will happen next, dont you!
January 5, 2009
Meanwhile, down on Sunset Strip...
I have to confess that this is the best summary of the recent unpleasentness that I have read, penned by Colonel Lior Lotan who served in the Israel Defence Forces in Gaza during the 1980s and 1990s
After a week of aerial assaults on Gaza, Israel has started the ground stage of the operation against Hamas. This is a reaction to the ground missiles being launched from Gaza towards cities in Israel, an aggression which has been continuing for eight years and which reached its peak after the Israeli withdrawal from the Gaza Strip in the summer of 2005.
Since then an industry of arms smuggling has flourished in Gaza, enabling Hamas to go from smuggling weapons to self-production. Many of the missiles smuggled in are Iranian or Chinese-made, with a launching range of 25 miles and a significant destructive power.
The current stage of the Israeli operation gives a combat advantage to the Israeli forces over Hamas. This advantage is based largely on the fact that the Israel Defence Forces has implemented combat lessons from the second Lebanon War in 2006, but also because of several other reasons. The IDF operated inside Gaza until 2005, and is familiar with the terrain. It has also invested a great deal of time in recent years developing urban warfare tactics and specific weapons technology.
Frankly, I take a much more simplistic view: The Izzies are happy because they are dropping bombs on terrorists & the terrorists are happy because they are being ‘martyred’ in large numbers. As far as any prospect for a Middle East peace go, that’s about as good as its ever going to get.
& our first contestant for African Infantryman of the Year 2009 is…
Whilst the 2008 contest was hotly contested, this year the competition is likely to be even more fierce & we start with this fine fellow
Now lets set aside the somewhat interesting choice battledress & focus on the personal weapon. The MG 42 & its many many variants in a fine weapon, but is it just me or is this particular example missing a rather critical part?
December 28, 2008
الله أَكْبَر
This is a repost because of the most recent comment entered yesterday....
Allahu Akbar !!
From Reader Gwyn
December 17, 2008
December 12, 2008
10 MOA better than Strictly Coming Dancing
Continuing the early morning military theme, we have this weeks contestants in our African Infantryman of the Year competition. First off in our ‘God is Airborne’ category we have this young chappy replete with his ’95 pattern wings, Tinkabell for the use of & a rather racy brace of AKs...
Then in our alternative lifestyles section, it is heartwarming to see that in the 3rd World, military attitudes to the love that dare not speak its name are slightly more enlightened than don’t ask don’t tell...
Finally, in the Combined Cadet Force category we have this lad
I just bet that headmaster will be chuffed to bits when his he shows up in the classroom with his colleagues
A wave of the fat capitalist cigar to reader MK for finding these
Iranian Armed Forces Day
Today is Iranian Armed Forces Day. Protocol dictates that visiting warships “dress overall” & “appropriate gun salutes are fired”. Far be it for your humble correspondent to seek to raise tensions in the Gulf any further, but could I just suggest that lots of “gun salutes” are fired at Iran to mark this auspicious event
November 27, 2008
Forget the X-Factor…
today’s contestant in our now long running African Infantryman of the Year competition - found on ARRSE by Ex-Stab - is…
As is pointed out on the original comment on the photo, that really is an epic hat
November 11, 2008
On This Day ... in 1918
At the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month, the Armistice saw the cessation of hostilities with Germany. Peace was not finally secured until the Treaty of Versailles in 1919. Britain had lost some 888,000 men killed, India 72,000, Canada 65,000, Australia 62,000, New Zealand 18,000 and South Africa 9,300.
Smaller parts of the Empire and Dominions had also made huge sacrifices: of the 6,500 men who served during the war with the Royal Newfoundland Regiment, 1,250 men were killed, the 1st Battalion having suffered perhaps the worst casualties of any unit on the first day of the Somme, when 91% of its men were wounded or killed in just 40 minutes.
The Victoria Cross & the George Cross
Today of all days it is probably appropriate that I got round to answering a question that arose the other week: namely, what is the difference between the Victoria Cross & the George Cross. Aside from the obvious, the VC can only be awarded to military personnel or to civilians acting under military command.
The actual criteria as set out in the Royal Warrant are that it is to be awarded for
most conspicuous bravery, or some daring or pre-eminent act of valour or self-sacrifice, or extreme devotion to duty in the presence of the enemy
The George Cross was originally intended as a civilian award for
acts of the greatest heroism or of the most conspicuous courage in circumstances of extreme danger
The GC however may be awarded to military personnel for gallant conduct which is not in the face of the enemy. As its Royal Warrant states
The Cross is intended primarily for civilians and award in Our military services is to be confined to actions for which purely military Honours are not normally granted
There, I hope that clears that one up
November 9, 2008
November 3, 2008
& the latest contender is…
This mornings entry in my now long running African Infantryman of the Year competition is Jamal…
I mean, how much do you want Jamal to actually pull the trigger on that RPG? No only would the BBC / CNN go one light in the journo dept (because to my mind, beardo looks just like a journo who has bitten off more than he can chew) but even if the grenade didn’t detonate, it would punch a boat sinking sized hole in the keel
October 29, 2008
Your Tuesday morning battle rifle conundrum
It would appear that on the left hand side of the pond there is an election of some note due very shortly. This seems to be preoccupying pundits & pollsters alike. Therefore out of respect for our cousins over the water I thought that we would conduct a little polling of our own but on an altogether much more interesting topic & here is the scenario…
Sanity has returned to our foreign policy in the finest traditions of Crecy, Agincourt & Waterloo, we are off to fight the French. When to get to armoury, there are only 2 rifles left in the rack; a Lee Enfield No.4
& a Mauser K98
Which one would you take.
On the face of it, there is little to choose between the two as both a proven designs, capable of surviving both the rigours of the campaign & still cut a dash on your shoulder as you march under the Eiffel Tower as part of the victory celebrations.
To all intents & purposes, there is no particular advantage in using either 7.92mm or .303. Either will leave suitably sized exit wounds in Jean-Claude’s chest.
In combat conditions & in the firefight, again there is nothing to separate either weapon in terms of accuracy.
The Lee Enfield’s 10 round capacity beats the Mauser’s 5. However, remember we are fighting the French here & there is a school of thought that says, with some justification I will add, that a couple of rounds is all your are going to need before the drapeau blanc is flying …
Assuming that plentiful ammunition will be available for both, which one would you sign out?
UPDATE - Sorry, but I have had to take the poll down as it had become corrupted. When I last checked it, after 150 votes, the No.4 was in the lead by a ratio of about 4:1
October 26, 2008
Next contender please
This morning dear readers we have a new nomination for African Infantryman of the Year...
As Alan, who sent this to me pointed out, if Gartee, having taped all of those mags together, didn’t have an AK in each hand, then he would have a hand free to do his flies up.
Previous nominations for this prestigious award can be found
& the truth finally comes out...
At last, The Englishman 'fesses up
"Add me to the ranks of the pathetic"
but so am I
October 9, 2008
September 3, 2008
August 12, 2008
This mornings nomination for African Infantryman of the Year is…
Now come on…’fess up…all of us have taped mags together at some point in time. However it takes a true God of War professional to stick quite that number together!
July 29, 2008
African Infantryman of the Year
A little while ago now, I posted a review of Liberian Infantry Tactics which after nearly 3,000 posts, is still the most commented upon little piece in this dark dank little corner of the internet. OK, so half of the comments are accusations of racism but I will stop pointing out what a bunch of utter utter nangers these gangstas are, the day they learn some basic infantry skills. Fo'sure
However in a belated attempt not to be outdone by their Liberian brothers (or is that broz), we now have entries (via ARRSE) from some of the Nigerian militias for the converted title of African Infantryman of the Year
Starting off with our first entrant, Eloghosa - he likes to estimate bullet drift due to wind conditions using the more contemporary combination of the smoke from his fatty (surely that should be phatti – Ed), pulling his hat down over his eyes & using the force.
Asked to comment about the his AK47, Eloghosa also feels quite strongly that actually cleaning it iz fo all yo beotches because deez be da gatz dat da g’s be stappin’ an packin sidways an shih.
Second up we have Chinedu Onytkachuwu with his bloods from da hood look: a fusion of the classic Ramdoesque link wrapped around the torso meets Miss Selfridge, all topped off with a tousled hair wig.
As he says, gangsta it iz wot we iz doing at tha moment ... doggystyle
Finally, form the National Police Force we have Arikawe who has updated Grampa Walton’s dungarees in a more urban vernacular which he feels is far mo’schmoooove
Full respec’ to NBC for finding this
July 27, 2008
Not much changes
When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
The Young British Soldier, Rudyard Kipling
& now updated...
When you’re lying alone in your Afghan bivvy,
And your life it depends on some MOD civvie
When the body armour’s shared (one set between three),
And the firefight’s not like it is on TV,
Then you’ll look to your oppo, your gun and your God,
As you follow that path all Tommies have trod.
When the gimpy has jammed and you’re down to one round,
And the faith that you’d lost is suddenly found.
When the Taliban horde is close up to the fort,
And you pray that the arty don’t drop a round short.
Stick to your sergeant like a good squaddie should,
And fight them like satan or one of his brood
Your pay it won’t cover your needs or your wants,
So just stand there and take all the Taliban’s taunts
Nor generals nor civvies can do aught to amend it,
Except make sure you’re kept in a place you can’t spend it.
Three fifty an hour in your Afghani cage,
Not nearly as much as the minimum wage.
Your missus at home in a foul married quarter
With damp on the walls and a roof leaking water
Your kids miss their mate, their hero, their dad;
They’re missing the childhood that they should have had
One day it will be different, one day by and by,
As you all stand there and watch, to see the pigs fly
Just like your forebears in mud, dust and ditch
You’ll march and you’ll fight, and you’ll drink and you’ll bitch
Whether Froggy or Zulu, or Jerry, or Boer
The Brits will fight on ‘til the battle is over.
You may treat him like dirt, but nowt will unnerve him
But I wonder sometimes, if the country deserves him.
Peej 2008.
Via The Chosen Man & Theo Spark
July 18, 2008
July 7, 2008
Monday Morning Statistics – Part 1
Jamie Cooper,19 was testing radio equipment outside Basra's Shat al Arab Hotel in 2006 when two mortar bombs exploded. The first blasted his hands and right arm and the second ripped opened his buttocks, severing the nerves to his leg as shrapnel went through his pelvis and into his stomach.
Mr. Cooper, who was serving with the 2 Rifles at the time, has been told that that he is not disabled enough to receive council tax disability benefits, even though he now has to walk with a stick.
Mr Cooper has been awarded £57,000 compensation by the Ministry of Defence. This sum compares with £485,000 paid to an RAF typist who suffered “repetitive strain injury”.
This is why soldiers want their children, if the join the forces, to join the air farce.
May 22, 2008
May 21, 2008
May 5, 2008
Imperial Medley
I’ve had this little collection of pics kicking around in My Pictures folder for a number of months now. Happier days eh?
April 26, 2008
00-Buckshot
I cant remember where I right clicked this from,
but it reminds me of Chris Byrne’s line from Team Infidel: "Nothing says God is great like 00-buck "
April 25, 2008
The General - Siegfried Sassoon
"Good-morning; good-morning!" the General said
When we met him last week on our way to the line.
Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of ’em dead,
And we’re cursing his staff for incompetent swine.
"He’s a cheery old card," grunted Harry to Jack
As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack.
But he did for them both by his plan of attack.
April 23, 2008
March 31, 2008
Homenaje a Las Brigadade Internacionales
Whilst some get all misty eyed at the mention of the International Brigades…
but your humble correspondent tends to think Marxists, Leninists, Trotskyites … just about every shade of Communist you care to mention. Clearly the so-called British Battalion still has its supporters here in San Francisco
March 14, 2008
Egg Banjos
Picking up from this weeks star culinary item, Client #10 wants an egg fryer shaped like a banjo. This is an inspired idea because you could then have a banjo in your egg banjo.
Now for those of you that have never come across the egg banjo, it is a distinctly military institution which the ARRSEPedia defines as
A sandwich made from (usually) half stale white bread, spread on both insides with margarine and slotted in with at least one greasy fried egg, preferably soft yolk to distribute better, covered with sauce of own choice, brown or tomato (ketchup to the Spams).
It becomes a banjo when....
...the yolk and sauce dribble down your front. You move the hand containing the sandwich away and up to a point level with your ear as you look down your front and usually to an accompanying 'Aw bollox' you wipe/smear the said yolk & sauce into your shirt with you're free hand giving a passing imitation of playing 'air banjo' !
A slight variation on the "classic" banjo is when using Warrior. When on operations or big exercises like BATUS, [compo] rations will be supplemented by "fresh" rations which equates to sliced bread, fresh eggs and Clackie.
Now obviously the back of an armoured vehicle is a high risk environment for eggs and a dozen raw uncooked broken eggs in the back of a hot wagon is a friend to no-one. However the blokes have a solution. Pop the eggs into the BV and hey presto - hard boiled eggs that can't break (well they can but don't leak). Now if you peel the egg and pop it into the sliced white bread you have an "Almost Banjo" that you can eat.
BATUS being what it is, the commander and gunner can be in the turret for long periods of time and may need scoff to keep up their morale. What can be better than a hot "almost egg banjo"? So the Commander calls down to the bloke sitting in the first seat on the right just under the turret cage - he is the sprog as this is generally considered the worst seat in the wagon. Said sprog then tries to peel an egg, in the dark, in a moving wagon without moving his elbows as there is no space before sticking it in a slice of bread and passing it up to the turret crew.
What comes up to the turret is a highly dangerous mix of salmonella and sprog's fingernail dirt, livened up by razor sharp pieces of egg shell. Lovely. Fortunately your Handy Mug with Lid(Vehicle Commander, Drinking) is filled with tea to wash it down.
March 4, 2008
Reason No. 4,234 to dislike golfers
Over the years, I have read in several places, the Battle of Britain story about a wounded RAF aircrew that incurred the ire of golf club members having been carried bleeding into their bar. I suppose that I put it down to hearsay & whilst registering it, never really gave it a second thought. However spending some time over the weekend to catch up on the obits, it would seem that not only is the story true, but it can be attributed to one Squadron Leader 'Hawkeye' Lee
… who was wounded in the leg and forced to bale out of his burning aircraft. He was "captured" by an armed elderly civilian who refused to believe that Lee was British; some soldiers retrieved the situation, taking him to the local golf course for a brandy while they waited for an ambulance.
Heavily bloodstained, Lee stood at the bar, where he overheard a man complaining: "The machine-gunning made me miss my putt. And who's that chap at the bar? Bad show, all that blood - I don't believe he's even a member."
It’s a good job that the late Squadron Leader Lee was made of sterner stuff than your humble correspondent because if the same had happened to me, as soon as I had recovered, there would have been a bit more machine-gunnery … & missing a put would have been the very least of the club’s members complaints.
Mind you, when you consider how the current government treats our wounded service personnel, it just goes to show that times don’t change.
February 29, 2008
"When Harry met Tali" *
Well good on Prince Harry for not giving up & badgering the MoD until they let him go & do the job that he has been trained to do. However it is worth pointing out that in 1982 Prince Andrew joined 820 Naval Air Squadron, serving aboard the aircraft carrier, HMS Invincible & was sent ‘down south’.
Throughout the Falklands War he flew on various missions, including Anti-Submarine Warfare and Anti-Surface Warfare search, exocet missile decoy, as well as other missions. He also helped in casualty evacuation, transport and was involved in some highly dangerous Search and Air Rescue missions.
Is it just me or was there a lot less fuss in the press about that particular deployment? Clearly the media or at lest the weight that the media attaches to stories has changed a lot since 1982.
Its interesting to ponder however, that our Royal Family keep a discreet silence & send their sons to war, when so ordered. The same certainly can’t be said for our politicians or their families.
*stolen from the Daily Star's headline
February 27, 2008
& this mornings piece of homo-erotic Nazi propaganda is
Is the sort of thing that Christopher Isherwood (pictured left) would have no doubt have approved of
As W H Auden (pictured right) wrote of him
He loved the trees, he loved the squares, he loved the little fountains & the cafes; but most of all, he love those beautiful Berlin boys
February 26, 2008
February 25, 2008
Xiong huai chouhen, dan wu xu fa
Tebie yao zhuajin xue sheji, zhandou zhongjian zui daliang zui pubian de ying benshi jiu shi sheji. Yiding yao ba sheji xunlian gao hao.
With vengeance in your heart, no bullet will be fired in vain.
You must especially make the best use of your time to learn how to fire a gun, because in combat this is the most widely used practical skill.
Ensure that training for shooting a gun is thoroughly carried out.
February 8, 2008
Saul has slain his thousands; But David his tens of thousands
In view of yesterdays report (that the Army has run out of machine guns), perhaps the time is now right to scour our many military museums for suitable replacement weapons & lets be honest, with the possible exception of the greatest light machine gun ever produced, nothing screams stout bulldog like the venerable Vickers medium machine gun. Deploy a few of those to the North West Frontier & the Pathans heads would be kept well & truly down in the gutter
Yes, it harks from a different much happier age & indeed it was in 1881 when Hiram Maxim, was attending a Paris exhibition that he was told that if he was to achieve pay parity with Croesus he was going to need
to invent something that will enable these Europeans to cut each others' throats with greater facility.
Sensing the commercial opportunity, he wisely set up shop in London’s Hatton Garden, an area long noted for its very very commercial outlook &
between 1883 & 1885 patented almost every process by which automatic fire could be produced. In 1884 a press report stated "Hiram Maxim, the well known American electrician has made an automatic machine gun with a single barrel, using the standard .45 rifle cartridge, that will load and fire itself by energy derived from recoil at a rate of over 600 rounds a minute."
The bulldogs adopted the Vickers.303 (basically a go-faster version of Maxim’s original machine gun with a slightly reduced rate of fire) in 1912 & its crew of six could produce the equivalent weight of fire of 40 well drilled riflemen.
The following tale related by Ian Hogg gives you an idea of just how good a weapon this was
The Vickers gun accompanied the BEF to France in 1914, and in the years that followed proved itself to be the most reliable weapon on the battlefield, some of its feats of endurance entering military mythology. Perhaps the most incredible was the action by the 100th Company of the Machine Gun Corps at High Wood on August 24, 1916.
This company had ten Vickers guns, and it was ordered to give sustained covering fire for 12 hours onto a selected area 2,000 yards away in order to prevent German troops forming up there for a counter-attack while a British attack was in progress. Two whole companies of infantrymen were allocated as carriers of ammunition, rations and water for the machine-gunners. Two men worked a belt-filling machine non-stop for 12 hours keeping up a supply of 250-round belts. One hundred new barrels were used up, and every drop of water in the neighbourhood, including the men’s drinking water and contents of the latrine buckets, went up in steam to keep the guns cool. And in that 12-hour period the ten guns fired a million rounds between them.
One team fired 120,000 from one gun to win a five-franc prize offered to the highest-scoring gun. And at the end of that 12 hours every gun was working perfectly and not one gun had broken down during the whole period. It was this absolute foolproof reliability which endeared the Vickers to every British soldier who ever fired one. It never broke down; it just kept on firing and came back for more. And that was why the Mark 1 Vickers gun was to remain the standard medium machine-gun from 1912 to 1968.