July 2, 2008
Automated call centre hell?
Well try this. Owning to the fact that I found some whiskey a couple of hours ago ... lets just say it amused me for some considerable time
June 16, 2008
Your start the week Kalashnikov fun
Two things sprang to mind when I saw this photo: firstly, really really hope that she had that AK set to fully automatic fire & secondly ...
… looking at the only vague proximity of rifle butt & shoulder, deep regret that this is a single picture & not one of a series, taken she hoyed back on the trigger …!
June 8, 2008
June 4, 2008
Women are smarter than men
As the Aussies seems to be working themselves into a bit of a lather over bikini car washes...
The Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal found Kittens car wash in Bentleigh East was primarily involved in the promotion of Kittens strip club and required a separate business permit to continue operation.
On the other hand as AJDShootist points out, the Poles seem to be embracing this sort of marketing with a new take on popping out for a quick trim...
Errrrr ... I just like you to take a bit off the top
Ummm ... something for the weekend, sir?
& what about ... Would you like something on that, sir?
or as our Amercian cousins might ask ... I'd like it high & tight
June 2, 2008
May 24, 2008
A man walks into a pub...
An Israeli doctor said, 'Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.'
A German doctor said, 'That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person,
put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.'
A Russian doctor said, 'In my country medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.'
The English doctor, not to be outdone, said 'Hah!. We can take an a*sehole out of Scotland,
put him in 10 Downing Street and have half the country looking for work within twenty-four hours
From Gareth
May 23, 2008
Friday Frivolity
Reader Alan reports that he got stopped for speeding yesterday. He thought that he was going to be able to talk his way out of it until the policeman saw his dog on the back seat ...
May 22, 2008
Maybe the BBC does have a sense of humour after all
Lets take this from the top...
Men with diabetes who are having trouble keeping an erection could be at increased risk of serious heart problems, suggests a study. Those with erectile dysfunction were twice as likely as other men with diabetes to develop heart disease.
Now wait for it...
The root cause of both can be blood vessel damage caused by high blood sugar levels, the Chinese University of Hong Kong said.
May 21, 2008
May 20, 2008
May 16, 2008
May 14, 2008
May 12, 2008
May 7, 2008
Why do men die first?
This is a question that has gone unanswered for centuries, but, now we know. It requires a bit of explanation, first:
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race ... you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework ... you're a pansy.
If you work too hard ... there's never any time for her.
If you don't work enough ... you're a good-for-nothing bum. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay ... this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay ... you should get off your lazy behind and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her ... that is favouritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you ... its equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks ... its sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet ... its male indifference.
If you cry ... you're a wimp.
If you don't ... you're an insensitive bastard.
If you make a decision without consulting her ... you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy ... that's domination. If she asks you ... it's a favour.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear ... you're a pervert.
If you don't ... you're gay.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape ... you're sexist.
If you don't ... you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape ... you're vain.
If you don't ... you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers ... you're after something.
If you don't ... you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements ... you're full of yourself.
If you don't ... you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache ... she's tired.
If you have a headache ... you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often ... you're oversexed.
If you don't ... there must be someone else.
Why do men die first? Because they want to.
Via Alan
May 2, 2008
May 1, 2008
April 30, 2008
April 29, 2008
April 28, 2008
April 27, 2008
April 25, 2008
When Government logos go wrong
For those of you that don’t already know, the UK Office of Government Commerce is
responsible for improving value for money by driving up standards and capability in procurement
& to prove it, they have a new logo
Now forget the fact that yet another government department is wasting even more of our money on ‘marketing’ the real problem comes when you rotate the image…
According to Danny Finkelstein
Apparently they are pressing ahead with it anyway. A spokesman for the OGC said (I kid you not) this;
We concluded that the effect was generic to the particular combination of the letters 'OGC' - and is not inappropriate to an organisation that's looking to have a firm grip on government spend.
April 24, 2008
April 23, 2008
Games to play in San Francisco: Jeans shop japery
Walk into a the 4 storey Levi’s store that fronts Union Square
Ask to buy a pair of jeans. When they ask exactly what sort of jeans your want, tell them that you just want a pair of ordinary blue jeans & enjoy the look of utter confusion on the shop assistants face
April 22, 2008
Dear Dr Kim
Dear Dr. Kim
My wife and I are terrified of being ‘caught’ having sex by our seven-year-old son, who is very inquisitive and hammers on our bedroom door if we lock it before making love. What can we do?—Sinning In Cincinnati
Dear Cinner,
Stop having sex. As you’re married, it should be quite easy for both of you to give up sex altogether (with each other, anyway). Alternatively, if you absolutely can’t stop that silly boinking nonsense, try this: when Junior starts his tiresome knocking, you can always stop what you’re doing, open the bedroom door and have your naked wife whip him. This will ensure that he forever associates a naked woman with pain (not a bad life lesson right there), which will stand him in good stead during high school and college, where he can concentrate on his studies instead of trying to screw every young woman in sight like all the other horny little beasts. Then, when he needs to overcome this problem in his 20s, he can pay for his own therapy.—Dr. Kim
Now go read the rest
April 20, 2008
& now the Muslim weather
I'm not sure whether you heard that the South African Weather Bureau were rapped over the knuckles recently for referring to last month's untimely cold and rainy spell as "English weather".
After a long bosberaad (meeting), a spokesman for the SA Weather Bureau apologized for offending his English counterparts and announced at a press release that the term "English weather" would never again be used to describe inclement weather. The new name for bad weather will be "Muslim weather". A baffled member of the press contingent asked the spokesman to please explain.
It is very simple, the spokesman replied. English weather is now referred to as Muslim weather as it is partly Sunni but mostly Shi'ite.
From Alan
April 18, 2008
April 15, 2008
April 14, 2008
April 11, 2008
April 1, 2008
March 28, 2008
March 26, 2008
March 25, 2008
Women, know your limits
(Its only because Mrs FM is something like 3,000 miles away that I have the courage to post this)
March 23, 2008
March 20, 2008
March 19, 2008
I never bother washing mine either
Clarkson on the subject of washing cars
Last weekend, I was driving through one of those junior executive, Tory stronghold housing estates – the sort where they have wife-swapping parties every Thursday at No 22 and everyone has baggy-knicker curtains. And I was staggered because just about every single man was out on his drive washing the car.
What a meaningless way of passing the time. You don’t wash your vacuum cleaner or your television set, you have a machine to wash the dishes and you employ a man to clean your windows. So how much do you have to hate the sight of your wife and children before you think, “I’d rather go outside into the cold and spend a couple of hours burnishing my wheel nuts”?
I am aware, of course, that many men do hate the sight of their wife and children. Doctors even have a name for these people: “anglers”. But even the concept of sitting in the drizzle by a canal for six hours and then throwing everything you catch back into the water is not as daft as washing a car.
First of all, it’s very hard work. You have to do all the exercises favoured by homosexuals in gyms. Bending over, stretching, rubbing. But at least when homosexuals finish, they have glistening, toned bodies that make them look good. You? You’re just going to put your back out. And the more you clean, the more you’ll notice is dirty. If you’re not careful you’ll end up polishing the inside of the tyre valves and then not wanting to use your car if it’s raining.
This behaviour is called “being a concours enthusiast” and it’s very dangerous. Many “concours enthusiasts” go on to be murderers.
March 18, 2008
UK Workforce Statistics 2008
I know that when you look at these startling new statistics you will all be asking yourself the same question ...
... where's the Corporate & Social Responsibility Manager?
March 14, 2008
Wireless Networks
Remember this …
Children should not place computers on their laps while they are using wireless internet connections because of potential health risks, according to a leading Government adviser. Professor Lawrie Challis, who heads the committee on mobile phone safety research, called yesterday for pupils to be monitored amid mounting public concern over emissions from wi-fi networks.
Well now it seems that Concerned of Tunbridge Wells & her ilk have stopped writing hysterical letters to The Guardian & instead have adopted a policy of direct action ... in a pretty major way
Egg Banjos
Picking up from this weeks star culinary item, Client #10 wants an egg fryer shaped like a banjo. This is an inspired idea because you could then have a banjo in your egg banjo.
Now for those of you that have never come across the egg banjo, it is a distinctly military institution which the ARRSEPedia defines as
A sandwich made from (usually) half stale white bread, spread on both insides with margarine and slotted in with at least one greasy fried egg, preferably soft yolk to distribute better, covered with sauce of own choice, brown or tomato (ketchup to the Spams).
It becomes a banjo when....
...the yolk and sauce dribble down your front. You move the hand containing the sandwich away and up to a point level with your ear as you look down your front and usually to an accompanying 'Aw bollox' you wipe/smear the said yolk & sauce into your shirt with you're free hand giving a passing imitation of playing 'air banjo' !
A slight variation on the "classic" banjo is when using Warrior. When on operations or big exercises like BATUS, [compo] rations will be supplemented by "fresh" rations which equates to sliced bread, fresh eggs and Clackie.
Now obviously the back of an armoured vehicle is a high risk environment for eggs and a dozen raw uncooked broken eggs in the back of a hot wagon is a friend to no-one. However the blokes have a solution. Pop the eggs into the BV and hey presto - hard boiled eggs that can't break (well they can but don't leak). Now if you peel the egg and pop it into the sliced white bread you have an "Almost Banjo" that you can eat.
BATUS being what it is, the commander and gunner can be in the turret for long periods of time and may need scoff to keep up their morale. What can be better than a hot "almost egg banjo"? So the Commander calls down to the bloke sitting in the first seat on the right just under the turret cage - he is the sprog as this is generally considered the worst seat in the wagon. Said sprog then tries to peel an egg, in the dark, in a moving wagon without moving his elbows as there is no space before sticking it in a slice of bread and passing it up to the turret crew.
What comes up to the turret is a highly dangerous mix of salmonella and sprog's fingernail dirt, livened up by razor sharp pieces of egg shell. Lovely. Fortunately your Handy Mug with Lid(Vehicle Commander, Drinking) is filled with tea to wash it down.
March 13, 2008
March 12, 2008
March 10, 2008
Clearly he is cooking spaghetti tonight
& has been out get the ingredients … such as mince
A wave of the fat capitalist cigar to Hugh for snapping this one
Economics explained
You might have looked at this before, but this version (via AJDS) has a couple of additions that I have not seen...
SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you
BUREAUCRATISE: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, then throws the milk away
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for fivecows. The milk rights of the six cows is transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.Sell one cow to buy a new President of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull
THE ANDERSEN MODEL: You have two cows. You shred them
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it worldwide
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so theylive for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You decide to have lunch
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.You charge the owners for storing them
A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported otherwise
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them
A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out ofyou and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive
March 7, 2008
Passport Application
I don't care if this is true or not, or even if it has been posted on a thousand other sites: to my mind, it just about sums it all up...
Dear Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through.
How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish from them back in 1994, and yet, the Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date?
How come that nice West African immigrant chappy who comes round every Thursday night with his DVD rentals van can tell me every film or video I have had out since he started his business up eleven years ago, yet you still want me to remind you of my last three jobs, two of which were with contractors working for the government?
How come the T.V. detector van can tell if my T.V. is on, what channel I am watching and whether I have paid my licence or not, and yet if I win the government run lottery they have no idea I have won or where I am and will keep the bloody money to themselves if I fail to claim in good time. Do you people do this by hand?
You have my birth date on numerous files you hold on me, including the one with all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 30-odd years. It's on my health insurance card, my driver's licence, on the last four passports I've had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes and boats over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that are done every ten years and the electoral registration forms I have to complete, by law, every time our lords and masters are up for re-election.
Would somebody please take note, once and for all, I was born in Maidenhead on the 4th of March 1957, my mother's name is Mary, her maiden name was Reynolds, my father's name is Robert, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and the day I die!
I apologise Minister. I'm obviously not myself this morning. But between you and me, I have simply had enough! You mail the application to my house, then you ask me for my address. What is going on? Do you have a gang of Neanderthals working there? Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don't want to activate the Fifth Reich for God's sake! I just want to go and park my weary backside on a sunny, sandy beach for a couple of week's well-earned rest away from all this crap.
Well, I have to go now, because I have to go to back to Salisbury and get another copy of my birth certificate because you lost the last one. AND to the tune of 60 quid! What a racket THAT is!! Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day? But nooooo, that'd be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You'd rather have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, then find some tosser to confirm that it's really me on the goddamn picture - you know... the one where we're not allowed to smile in in case we look as if we are enjoying the process!
Hey, you know why we can't smile? 'Cause we're totally jacked off!
I served in the armed forces for more than 25 years including over ten years at the Ministry of Defence in London. I have had security clearances which allowed me to sit in the Cabinet Office, five seats away from the Prime Minister while he was being briefed on the first Gulf War and I have been doing volunteer work for the British Red Cross ever since I left the Services. However, I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am -- you know, someone like my doctor...
who, before he got his medical degree 6 months ago WAS LIVING IN PAKISTAN...
Yours sincerely,
An Irate British Citizen.
(via AJDS)
March 6, 2008
March 3, 2008
Its not round you know...
After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or on any tree.
Revelation 7:1 (NIV translation)
It is a well-established Biblical fact that the Earth is flat and immobile. Every good Biblical literalist knows the Scriptural passages which demonstrate that the Earth does not move and that its surface is not curved: Daniel 4:10-11, Matthew 4:8, Joshua 10:12, 1 Chronicles 16:30, Psalms 93:1 & 96:10 & 104:5, Isaiah 45:18; the list goes on and on.
But far too many lazy Biblical literalists today ignore the plain fact that the Bible also tells us that the flat Earth does not have curved edges. Even the late, great Charles K. Johnson, the valiant fighter for the Truth who carried the message of the earlier Zetetic Astronomers forward into the twentieth and twenty-first centuries by founding the International Flat Earth Society, made the grievous error of assuming that the Earth was shaped like a circular disk. Nothing could be further from the Truth.
The Book of Revelation, chapter 7, verse 1, makes the following unmistakable statement about the shape of the Earth
After this I saw four angels standing at the four corners of the earth, holding back the four winds of the earth to prevent any wind from blowing on the land or on the sea or on any tree.
This clearly shows that the Earth has exactly four corners. One might argue that the edges of the Earth between these four corners could be curved. But look at the following passages in the Book of Job
for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.
Job 28:24 (NIV translation)
He unleashes his lightning beneath the whole heaven and sends it to the ends of the earth.
Job 37:3 (NIV translation)
Both of these passages clearly state that the earth has ends — that is, straight edges. This, combined with the four corners provided in Revelation 7:1, means that the Earth must be some kind of quadrilateral shape. The possibilities are:
Square
Non-square rectangle
Non-square rhombus (i.e. a "diamond" shape)
Non-rectangular, non-rhombic parallelogram
Trapezoid
Concave quadrilateral
Isosceles quadrilateral
Scalene quadrilateral
Narrowing down the possibilities, we can find more information about the shape of the Earth in the Book of Isaiah
He will raise a banner for the nations and gather the exiles of Israel; he will assemble the scattered people of Judah from the four quarters of the earth.
Isaiah 11:12 (NIV translation)
A quarter, of course, means exactly one-fourth. In order for the Earth to have four quarters, it must be of a shape that is divisible into four pieces that are all exactly the same shape and size as one another, i.e. four congruent pieces. Not all quadrilateral shapes can be divided into four congruent pieces. In fact, the only kinds of quadrilateral shapes that can be divided into four congruent pieces are the following
(so, in light of Isaiah 11:12, the two Job passages, and Revelation 7:1), the possible shapes of the Earth are limited to
Square
Non-square rectangle
Non-square rhombus
Non-rectangular, non-rhombic parallelogram
Isosceles trapezoid with three sides of identical length
Isosceles trapezoid with the shorter parallel side 1/3 the length of the longer parallel side
Isosceles concave quadrilateral .
Finally, we can look to the mention of the four winds in Revelation 7:1 to give us the last clue. Everybody knows that "the four winds" are the North Wind, the South Wind, the East Wind, and the West Wind. Right?
Well, Revelation 7:1 clearly shows four angels holding back these four winds. In order for each angel to "hold back" one of the Four Winds, he would have to be standing at the point on the Earth from whence the Wind originated. Thus, to hold back the North Wind, an angel would have to be standing at the northernmost point on the Earth. To hold back the South Wind, an angel would have to be standing at the southernmost point on the Earth. Et cetera.
The four angels would have to have been standing at the northernmost, southernmost, easternmost, and westernmost points on the Earth — in other words, at the extreme ends of the four main compass points.
But we already know that they were also standing at the four corners of the Earth. This means that the four corners of the Earth are located at the compass points! A non-square rectangle, a non-rhombic parallelogram, or an isosceles trapezoid cannot be aligned in such a way that their corners are pointing directly at the compass points. Only a rhombic shape can be aligned in such a way.
Therefore, when we have carefully examined all the clues in Revelation 7:1, combined with the two Job passages and Isaiah 11:12, the only two possible shapes for the Earth are a square, or
a non-square rhombus . . . with its corners oriented to point directly north, south, east, and west.
We know that God is perfect. God would, therefore, have created the Earth in the most perfect shape possible. As I've already proven, we know from Rev 7:1, Isaiah 11:12, and Job that the Earth must be a rhombus of some sort. It makes good Biblical sense that God would have created Earth to be the most perfect kind of rhombus possible. The most perfect kind of rhombus is the square. Its rectilinear corners perfectly match the rectitude of God. Therefore, the Earth must be square.
And if that's not enough to convince you, consider this: Of all the nations on Earth today, God most loves the United States of America. This is evident from the fact that Pat Robertson, God's chosen spokesman, lives in the U.S. One of America's main pastimes is the game of baseball. Baseball is played on a "diamond", which is perfectly square in shape — and which, I might add, has its corners oriented to point toward the four compass points. God would not have made baseball into the national pastime of His 'favourite' nation if He didn't have a higher purpose in mind for it. Clearly, His higher purpose is to show us the true shape of the Earth. The Earth must be perfectly square, just like the diamond-shaped field in God's chosen sport is square.
Take a gander at this passage from First Samuel
He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory: for the pillars of the earth are the Lord's, and he hath set the world upon them.
1 Samuel 2:8 (KJV translation)
This clearly shows that the Earth rests on an unspecified number of pillars (Discworld fans take note). A couple of translations of the Old Testament floating around say "foundations" or "fixtures" in place of pillars, but the original Hebrew word that appears here is "matsuwq", which literally means a cast metal support, a pillar, or a column. What the pillars themselves are resting on is unknown. They might not be resting upon anything. Perhaps they are being held up by divine grace. Perhaps they are infinitely tall. All we know for sure is that a set of pillars beneath the Earth must exist.
This means that Hell, which is under the Earth, is interrupted by pillars in some places. This may explain how Satan is going to break out of Hell after the thousand years of peace in Revelation: perhaps he's going to climb up one of these pillars. This is a speculation for another webpage, however.
F.A.Qs
"Can I believe in the round Earth and still get into heaven?"
No. As you know, if you do not accept every word in the bible as literally true, you are not really accepting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and are doomed to burn in Hell for all eternity. God won't let any half-assed believers into heaven.
"What about all those pictures from space, showing that the Earth is round?"
Just more proof that Hollywood is in league with the devil. Charles K. Johnson of the International Flat Earth Society has already demonstrated that every picture of the "Earth" as seen from "space" was faked. In fact, the entire NASA space program is a sham. The movie Capricorn One was a documentary about how the Apollo moon mission was faked; the people who worked on the movie knew all about this, but were told to keep quiet. O.J. Simpson, one of the stars of Capricorn One, was going to come forward with THE TRUTH, but he was silenced by being framed for the murder of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman. The conspirators agreed to convince the jury to hand over a "not guilty" verdict only because O.J. Simpson promised not to go public with the cover-up.
"How come no airline pilots have ever reported seeing the edges of the Earth?"
Airline pilots are also in league with the devil. This is for your protection. If True Believers were allowed to pilot airliners, many planes would instantly become unmanned during the pre-Tribulation Rapture, thus crashing and killing everybody on board. When crossing the Equator or the Prime Meridian, airline pilots have to make sharp 90-degree turns to follow the square contours of the Earth. They hide this fact by blaming it on "turbulence."
"Couldn't the phrase 'four corners of the Earth' in Revelation 7:1 merely be a commonly-used metaphor for the farthest reaches of the Earth?"
Beware the slippery slope of interpreting a Biblical passage as "metaphor," for that way surely leads to Death. Next, you'll be saying the Earth wasn't created in six literal days, or that the Earth wasn't literally split in two in Genesis 10:25, and then your daughters will grow up to be temple prostitutes and your children will learn how to cast real spells by playing Dungeons & Dragons® and locusts will descend upon Israel and lions will lie down with lambs. They've already kicked God out of our schools because of such thinking. Don't let Satan convert even more souls away from the One True Way than he already has.
"What about Isaiah 40:22?"
Isaiah, chapter 40, verse 22 reads (in the NIV translation)
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
Does this mean the Earth is circular? Not at all. If it were circular, Job's mention of the ends of the Earth would be meaningless. The word translated as "circle" in this verse is the Hebrew "chuwg", which can mean circle, but can also mean circuit or compass. When occurring by itself, this word can also mean the vault of the heavens. This verse probably refers to the fact that God sits enthroned above the vault of the heavens, which encompasses the whole Earth. Besides, everyone knows that tents are supposed to be square.
"What can I do in my community to make the heathenous Round-Earthers see the light?"
Show them this webpage. Take out your own bible, and show them Revelation 7:1, Isaiah 11:12, and the two Job passages. If that doesn't convince them, you can use your bible to hit them on top of the head and shout, "Earth square!". Hold Square Dances where you hand out International Square Earth Society literature. March in picket lines in front of globe manufacturers with signs reading "Earth square!", "Satan says the Earth is round," "No round Earths", etc.. Boycott Rand McNally. Buy square Earth maps and place them prominently in classrooms and on bulletin boards. Yell at the school board and demand "equal time" for the "equally valid" scientific theory that the Earth is square, while reminding them that the notion of a round Earth is "just a theory." Hold up signs saying "Rev 7:1" for the cameras at football games. There's so much one person can do to spread the Word that it's impossible to list all the possibilities here.
(& thanks to Alan for this one)
February 27, 2008
& this mornings piece of homo-erotic Nazi propaganda is
Is the sort of thing that Christopher Isherwood (pictured left) would have no doubt have approved of
As W H Auden (pictured right) wrote of him
He loved the trees, he loved the squares, he loved the little fountains & the cafes; but most of all, he love those beautiful Berlin boys
February 26, 2008
February 25, 2008
February 22, 2008
& no, this wasn't me last week
... however a few years ago, it might well have been
Contributor TDB thinks that he heard a rumour that this chap was looking for his snowmobile after a blizzard. Sadly, we will probably never know
