Now I am a firm believer of what goes on between consenting adults behind the bedroom door is their own business - I might not like or agree with a lot of it but frankly I would rather spend my time worrying about how I am possibly going to find the time to string up all the liberals whose necks need stretching than getting stressed about people who nail their bollocks to the bedpost or the like, for kicks. However it really does come to something when Dixon of Dock Green gets replaced by PC Dominant Dogger of Dixon’s car park…

A police marksman has been removed from Scotland Yard's specialist CO19 firearms unit after posting revealing pictures of himself online. PC Malcolm Thomas, 40, used the name "funboybobby" to display a series of photographs on an adult dating site.

He described himself as "dominant" and some of the pictures showed him in uniform, carrying his 9mm Glock pistol. The Metropolitan Police said he was immediately removed from the unit and an investigation was being carried out.

In some of the photographs the officer showed off a tattoo above his bare bottom and called himself "sexually adventurous" in his online profile. He said: "I am an armed policeman in London and very dominant."

Of course, all of this shows a cataclysmic lack of judgement on the part of Constable Malcolm ‘John’ Thomas – if in his profile he had described himself as a single parent disabled mixed race pre-op transvestite – his employers would now be on the receiving end of a multi-million pound discrimination case. Maybe it’s the capitalist in me, but it breaks my hardened heart to see such obvious money making opportunities being so frivolously squandered