How well can you speak English?
The fact that we simply don’t trust the Government with any information is a given – the main reason that they want it is a) to help them think up new taxes & b) for some pissed up civil servant to leave on a train. However, as a precursor to the tattooing of bar codes onto our forearms, its getting towards census time again...
Ministers are being accused of planning to snoop into citizens' private lives in the most intrusive national census ever carried out. The 2011 survey will demand to know how many bedrooms there are in homes and detailed information about any 'overnight visitors'.
Other new questions include how well respondents can speak English, what kind of central heating they have installed, whether they have a second home, how they define their national identity and whether they are in civil partnerships.
The Conservatives said the attempt to find out sleeping arrangements was particularly objectionable
It does however present any rational whiskey drinking man with the opportunity to at least to contribute in a small way to the Ghost in the Machine. If some faceless Government department really needs to know who my overnight visitors are, I see no reason not to let them know how often Algernon Mouse stays. Incidentally, to the best of my knowledge, A. Mouse Esq continues to take his political duties very very seriously & regularly votes in one of the London constituencies.
Other night time visitors at Free Market Towers include Arthur Fox who dropped by the yard last week, Anna Barn-Owl who unsurprisingly lives in one of the barns, then there is Albert Rabbit & his very extended family who seem to have moved into the top paddock .
We must also not forget the comic opportunities presented by the section on language
It also asks: 'How well can you speak English?... very well, well, not well or not at all.'
& then there is of course much fun & frivolity to be had in the ‘race section’
The specimen census asks 'how would you describe your national identity?,' offering English, Welsh, Scottish, Northern Irish, British or 'other', with space to add further details. The section on ethnic groups has also been expanded from 2001, with separate categories for 'Gypsy or Irish Traveller' and 'Arab' for the first time.
Given that race etc are self defined I am considering simply stapling pages from the Holy Koran all over the form & sending the damn thing back together with the supplemental volume listing our overnight visitors, transient or otherwise together with a request that they get my gulag cell ready. Ceasar Augustus, eat your heart out !
Comments
My requests for the race of Romulan to be included on the form, has to date been ignored. 'Other' just doesn't cut it. And when will they print dole forms in our language???? Gabluckters!
Wait 'til the High Command hear about this..........
Posted by: Rusty Ray | October 26, 2009 9:47 AM
It is no accident that this type of copycat intrusive idiocy is on both sides of the Pond.
Exercise your right: Number, age and gender of people living there and no more.
Posted by: Cricket | October 26, 2009 7:03 PM
There's a difference between 'Gypsy' and 'Irish'?
Cheers
Posted by: J.M. Heinrichs | October 27, 2009 12:07 AM