Parallel parking & freemasons
Firstly, may I take this opportunity to thank the eight of you that emailed me yesterday on the topic of my ability to park a car (or lack of skill thereof). Can I, in open forum, assure you all that;
a) Yes, I do have a ‘pair’
b) & can in fact parallel park ...
...it’s just that sometimes I chose not to.
I think it was sometime last winter after a bit of a lunch, I was popping into the offie for a couple of packs of smokos & a bottle of Thunderbird to pass away the afternoon when I inadvertently mounted the pavement at quite some velocity – at least that’s what the Coroner (or Old Whiffy to use his Masonic nickname) said at the inquest. At least the awfully polite yet rather young policeman very quickly reassured me that he would be able to prise the World Wildlife Fund chugger from where she was jammed into the front wheel arch with the aid of the small crowbar that just happened to be on the passenger seat. The officer went on to explain that I shouldn’t worry because “there are plenty more where she came from”. Ever since, if I have inadvertently ended up with a wheel on the head of some old wino selling copies of the Big Issue, I haven’t given it a second thought.
Comments
Thunderbird? THUNDERBIRD?
Please, Mr Free Market, say it ain't so!
Posted by: Brian, follower of Deornoth | October 1, 2009 2:31 PM
What's the word! Thunderbird!
Heh. Best way to make sure your 20" from the curb is to put down a hippie or hobo in the street next to it and park.
If you feel your tires going over the body, you are close enough.
Posted by: Kristopher | October 1, 2009 8:58 PM
I have a similar photo of a HMMWV that I drove into a culvert concealed by weeds as a Lieutenant.
I was an Executive Officer waiting for my company to arrive to pick up 20 TOW missiles for training.
They appeared in my rear-view mirror but were driving toward the training area rather than toward me. I made a U-turn off the road to catch up with them and the earth just disappeared from beneath my wheels. I ended up with the vehicle face down in the culvert with my rucksack sliding from the cargo compartment onto my head and shoulders. Luckily, I had already unloaded the TOW missiles (by myself) onto the loading dock.
Despite doing a stellar job with logistics, the embarrassment of the incident likely cost me a quick and sure promotion to Captain and a company command.
I'll email you the photo when I get a chance.
A year later I was driving alone at 2am under total blackout conditions when I missed my turn. I found myself at the top of a hill with a long, narrow, dark road behind me; cliffs to my left and right; and a very steep grade in front of me. With less than two hours to get to the mess to pick up chow for my company, I decided to press onward.
I turned on my headlights, shifted into first gear, low transfer and crept over the edge. As I looked nearly straight down the slope, I panicked and took my foot off the gas. The HMMWV stopped cold. I composed myself, pressed lightly on the gas, and the vehicle slowly made its way down the steep slope. It's a thoroughly amazing vehicle!
Posted by: POWinCA | October 4, 2009 5:05 AM