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Why bulldogs now need to carry a tape measure

Whilst the compulsory carrying of identity cards by Her Majesty’s law abiding subjects seems to have slipped from the Westminster Village’s pernicious agenda for the time being, it would appear that in one part of the West Country you now need to carry a tape measure in your car...

Angry motorists say they may have to carry tape measures with them to avoid parking fines in a Devon resort. Torbay Council has warned drivers it is considering issuing fixed penalty notices to people who park more than 50cm (20in) from the kerb.

The council said Torbay had many narrow roads and action had to taken against irresponsible drivers whose parking can impede emergency and service vehicles. The deputy mayor said the alternative was to restrict parking for everyone.

There are probably those among you who feel that parking within 20” of the curb isn’t an unreasonable request ... well I am not one of them, mainly because I am such a completely lousy driver & can’t park a car for billy-o. As Mrs FM is oft to point out at my latest diagonal effort, that isn’t parked so much as abandoned

Therefore rest assured that should I have reason to visit Torbay I shall ensure that I have a tape measure to hand so that if confronted by some officious Council Revenue Officer I can ensure to cut the correct length of tow rope to lynch the little runt with

Comments

That's nearly two bloody feet - even I can manage that!

In my state of Illinois,USA you have to be
within 12".

And that's saying something given the appalling turning circles of most cars built for the US market...

Please remember to ensure your Tape Measure has been calibrated by a recognised authority!!

"It's alright, we can walk to the kerb from here."

Woody Allen to Annie Hall

Agree with you on most stuff, but if you can't park within 20" of the kerb .... f*cking well learn to.

Parallel parking is a test of manhood. Don't fail it.

Run out flags for a tug and a harbor pilot!

Get a fishermans ruler.

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