Nu Labour & the (Dis) Armed Forces
Found by Richard somewhere on the Torygraph website
As the father of a serving soldier I can tell you now, delivery of the new pikestaff has been seriously delayed along with the new longbow due to shortages of the right kind of wood from Scandinavia.
The Navy has just revealed that the upgrade to HMS Victory and the Mary Rose are on schedule for completion in 2012 but the new harpoons are subject to the same delays as the Army equipment.
The RAF reports no delays with the new hang-gliding squadron but pilot training is proving technically very difficult. The new wind farms making low-level flying particularly hazardous.
The Defence Secretary, speaking from the newly upgraded HQ building in Whitehall, said that the building programme costing £1.5 billion had been completed 2 years late and £500 million over budget. This should be seen against the increased ability of the civil servants to cut costs in procurement programmes and ensure the Services capability would not be adversely affected.
The Army was on alert last night as the Scottish Parliament were once again threatening to march South in pursuit of more English Taxpayers money. A source said the likely point at which the Government might consider the invasion hostile would be if the Scottish reached Bannockburn. The new Libyan Regiments were massed at the borders in support of their new allies.
The Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, last seen astride a fence somewhere in his constituency in Edinburgh, was thought to be considering sending Lord Mandelson to negotiate a settlement by ceding Cumbria and Northumbria to the Scottish Government. This would avoid widening the dispute as the Army was already stretched trying to defend the Welsh border.
Comments
I understand the Scots are upset that, with Teddy "You stay here, I'll swim for help" Kennedy gone off for his just deserts, er, I mean "heavenly" reward, their exports of single malt are going to be 'way down...
Posted by: D.W. Drang | August 26, 2009 8:21 AM
When John Kerry was running for president in 2004, Georgia Democrat Zell Miller pointed out that Kerry voted against every major weapon system during his tenure in the Senate. He asked whether Kerry wanted us to go to war with spitballs. Here is the description of Kerry's preferred weapon system:
XM-29 S.P.T.B.L.
Short-Range, Portable, Tubular, Ballistic Launcher
Commonly called the “Spitball” or the “Kerryshnikov”, the XM-29 will be the latest weapon system to join the U.S. Army’s high-tech arsenal for the fight against terrorism if John Kerry becomes president. This weapon system was personally designed by Senator Kerry with concern for the combat soldier, the military budget, national security, and world opinion in mind.
The main characteristics of this weapon system are:
•Light weight to reduce a soldier’s combat load
•Minimal soldier training for effective operation
•Self-contained with weapon and ammunition
•Fire-and-forget disposable launcher
•Non-lethality: most effective for the peacekeeping nature of our modern operations
•Invulnerability to Electromagnetic Pulse (EMP) on a nuclear battlefield
•Cost effectiveness
The weapon system’s only major disadvantage is its lack of an all-weather capability. In heavy winds, the projectile may deviate significantly from its intended course and may even, with strong headwinds, strike the firer. A discarded launcher may also be used by the enemy forces.
A peripheral but non-trivial benefit of this weapon system is to reduce the lethality of modern warfare, thus eliminating the perpetual cycle of violence. This will elevate the US military to a more “sensitive” form of warfare which will be respected by the rest of the world. The XM-29 is also expected to be adopted as the primary combat weapon system of the French armed forces.
Specifications:
Constructed of lightweight, eco-friendly biodegradable polymers
Length: 8 inches
Weight: negligible
Maximum range: 5 meters with paper projectiles, 3 meters with liquid projectiles
Maximum effective range: 3 meters
Max Rate of fire: 20 rounds per minute
Sustained Rate of fire: 10 rounds per minute
Basic Load: self-contained with 30-50 rounds of ammunition but capable of using a wide variety of additional, non-standard types of ammunition
Cost: $14.00 for a case of 10,000 weapon systems
Posted by: POWinCA | August 27, 2009 3:23 AM
The other XM-29: http://world.guns.ru/assault/as40-e.htm
Cheers
Posted by: J.M. Heinrichs | August 28, 2009 5:51 AM