A suppressed .22 rifle. Then a long wait to see if they have any buddies down the road. As they say in the US states about dealing with "re-introduced predators" "shoot, shovel, and shut up." My understanding it that are quite a few wolves, bears, and two-leggers have been back hoed into oblivion.

Nice bit of tarmac you've got there Sir, Do want a bit more to finish the yard off? It just happens we've got a load going spare and I can send the boys round with it....

Thats not tarmac, that's a spreading blood stain from the dead pit!

"Nice bit of tarmac you've got there Sir, Do want a bit more to finish the yard off? It just happens we've got a load going spare and I can send the boys round with it....""
Which is almost word-for-word what the guy and his son who came by the house a few months ago said, only with a very plausible Irish accent.

32 yards? The suppressed .22 is a good choice, although I have this new M4gery I'm needing to break in.

Of course, there's the classic Garand.

Hmmm...why, my trusty 1916 SMLE. Or, perhaps, my M1938 Mosin-Nagant in 7.62x54R. The visible muzzle blast from the latter, at night, would either obliterate them or frighten them into the next county.

Or...for low noise signature, a crossbow!!!

If said MMG is unavailable and your trusty service revolver is also unavailable, the 1941 Home Guard Manual suggests a double barrelled shotgun.

Left Barrel with choke and No3 shot (No2 if available).

Right Barrel unchoked with Improvised Slug.

As the manual so eloquently puts it "At 25 yards this slug goes through a sheep's carcase, and is a certain man-killer at 50 and even 75 yards"

In the interests of being Bulldoggy and deadly, your 318 Westley-Richards, of course. Highly thought of by that John Taylor fellow. Too long in the colonies, of course, but a fine fellow all the same.

Failing that the .275 Rigby or the .505 Gibbs.

But maybe just a vermin rifle.

I'm not a PWO but my training was shoot shoot look shoot so I'd go with an M4. My other option is an M2 with a flash suppressor.

Improvised Claymore wired to the security lights.

lights on....boom....lights off. The foxes will clean up whilst you sleep.

@MovingRight

There's not a fox within artillery range of Mr Fm's place he's annihilated them already.

I'd put a stand-alone PIR device just inside the door attached to something explosive.

I like Toad's suggestion of a suppressed .22 and a spade.

By keeping the noise down, you're surely increasing your chances of bagging a whole family of pikies - think of the saving to the tax payer.

On second thoughts, maybe a De Lisle carbine. A bit more whack than a .22.

I'd go along with Toad's suggestion of a suppressed .22, or even better a De Lisle, and a spade. Keep the noise down and you might bag a whole family of pikies. Think of the savings to the tax payer.

M79 loaded with WP shells. Let them burn

Why not be sporting and try to take the interlopers with a small caliber handgun? Maybe even a warning shot overhead before capping them as they scatter . . .

Whatever you shoot the bastards with, make it something you can do without, because it's going to be confiscated, never to be seen again.

No matter how sympathetic the rozzers are now, their attitude post facto is going to change.

Suggest you fit alarm mines on trip wires loud scary and legal.

Watch them run

Ghost

Add a second vote for the 12 ga slug. My Beretta 301 A with the plug removed. Maybe OO Buck every other shell. Hmmmm- I'll have to think about that.

This is so wonderfully non PC

Not sure if I'd use a shotgun over a rifle unless at very close quarters -remember both p****s T.M. shot whilst burgling his house managed to escape, although (only) one later died. I guess hanging the corpses upside down on your gate, as you would to scare off more 4 legged rats a no-no with the local Police?

Suppressed Uzi or 9mm AR carbine with same device attached.

My Remington 870 12 bore pump. the first 2 rounds are 00 buck followed by pumpkinball. My shovel is in the garage.

Advance;fire;advance;fire;advance.....

M79 loaded with WP shells. Let them burn.

Toad has it right. Just because you have to eliminate some neer do wells at 2:00 AM there is no need to wake half the county. Silence is golden. If there is a pig farm near by, hogs will eat many many things. (See 'Unintended Consequences' by John Ross.) In a bit more serious vein, what I could do on my side of the pond, is far different from on yours. In my part of Louisiana, shooting criminals would probably get a "nice shot" comment from the Sheriff's deputies. The reaction from the 'peelers' would not be as reasonable. You probably would be better off making them POWs.

Kim: you assume that he'll talk to some kind of authority afterward.

I suggest 12 gauge slug, a shovel, burlap, and quicklime.

If you talk to the cops afterward, they will take ALL of your firearms, and then arrest you.

If the cops find out about it and come for you anyway, claim you were robbing them and they scared you by attempting self-defense.

Walt - What part of Louisiana? My oldest son is off to Tulane in just about a month. Fortunately for him, he's been raised to mind his manners.

I suggest a nice flamethrower. The pikeys will likely be smerkin' a tab anyway, and wouldn't it be so very unfortunate if they clumsily managed to spill something flammable on themselves? Perhaps douse them in diesel and set them on fire with one of those excellent propane-powered weed torches?

Then, as they stagger, aflame and screaming in agony, back down the drive, it will - perhaps - encourager les autres, no? Mr. FM could even call 999 in "terror" at the self-immolating going on outside (after he's made sure there won't be any loose lips, of course).

Bomber. I am up near Shreveport. Far north west Louisiana.

Are the .22 rounds hollow points?

Walt - Why you're almost a Texan. I bet that where you live, those deputies would help you load the pickup for the trip to the hog farm just as long as it wasn't someone local.

Bomber, at the entry or two down with the front view of a Vickers there are links 'here, here, and here'. The first 'here' take you to a picture of my Vickers being shot by a friend's niece. That range is owned by one of the Deputy Sheriff's....

Use whatever you like because [whisper it] they shouldn't be there . .

Wait until they are in the box and lock it, cover it with a tarp and lots of straw bales then go visit Kim for a few weeks, get some ex sas to guard your home

put Mrs FM in the green box - tell her to yell RAPE - then she can shoot them in self defence and place some non registered firearm in said pikie's hand ....
still like shoot shovel option
especially as £30K plus of tack nicked in April from my stables

32 yards? As silence is golden, I'd fancy my chances at achieving 'minute of pikey' with my target longbow.......

Tiger pit with punji stakes(don't forget to dip the latter in excrement before placing)

I'll have to go with a ruger mini 14 in 7.62x39 fitted with a silencer. I believe the mini 14 will accept 30 round magazines if you can source "pre-clinton gun ban" gear. You ought to be able to polish off the whole clan without requiring reloading.
interesting trivia I have been assured about is the 7.62 ruskis are .311 nominal, same as the .303, but the 7.62x39 chambered rugers use .308 bore barrels off the .308/.30-06 family barrel manufacturing line. The action is strong enough to handle the extra pressure of squeezing an oversize bullet down the barrel.

The No.4 as issued does every job required out of doors. Indoors I'd probably reach for the Remington 870: Ten rounds of SG will settle most arguments I reckon.

If they come into an occupied house they mean to harm you in pursuit of their goal.

I'd sooner be tried by twelve than carried by six.

Make them 'disappear', then, just deny everything.

76mm L23: Canister, not noisy at all.

Cheers

To shoot rooks, what else but a Rook rifle??...

do the commando get ze U/O 12 bore with the rock salt shells be sneaky get within a yard of the pikey vermin and teach him the meaning of respect