He will not be cremated – he will be melted down and turned into toys – so the kids can play with him for a change.

Rumours of Michael Jackson dying in hospital of a heart attack are untrue
- he was actually in the childrens ward having a stroke.

Michael Jackson died picking his nose. Doctor’s aren’t blaming it on the sunshine or the moonlight they blamed it on the Boogie

Ambos confirm Michael Jackson is dead. They say he was blowing bubbles when they arrived. The monkey is in a stable condition

When Farrah Fawcett got to heaven, God granted her one wish because she had been such a good role model. Farrah asked god to make all the children safe- so he killed Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson suffered a heart attack when he tripped over a child pram.
Doctors have said it is too early to blame it on the Buggie.

Difference between MJ and Alex Ferguson?
AF will be playing Giggs this year.

MJ recently sold Neverland and had opened a new theme park – Dinoland
Apparently all the kids left with a megasorearse

The hospital where MJ was taken has reported no further need for O2

Doctors have been reported as saying the heart attack was caused by an excessive combination of sunshine, moonlight and goodtimes

As a money making gimmick, plans are afoot to inter MJ, leave him for six months.
Then dig him up again, attach strings to his arms and legs. And make a brand new, ultra-realistic version of the thriller video.

Paramedics were wrong to take MJ to the hospital
They should have taken him to the nearest tyre centre, so he could be remoulded.

In his will MJ has stated that he would like to melted down and turned into toy guns.
As he wants to be “something hard that goes off in little boys hands”

Everyone is unsure if the funeral will be black or white

In a search of MJ’s house after his death, police have confimed they have found
class A drugs kitchen, class B drugs in the living room and class 4C in the bedroom.

Exclusive to MTV. Michael Jackson – Unplugged.

Difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.
The other one can carry groceries.

MJ has been this stiff since McCauley Culkin came to stay for the weekend

Jacko’s ghost has already been seen in the kids ward, he is still putting the willies up them.

It has been announced that MJ cannot be cremated, due to fears of a toxic cloud.

Michael Jackson suffered a heart attack when he tripped over a child pram.
Doctors have said it is too early to blame it on the Buggie.

Difference between MJ and Alex Ferguson?
AF will be playing Giggs this year.

MJ recently sold Neverland and had opened a new theme park – Dinoland
Apparently all the kids left with a megasorearse

The hospital where MJ was taken has reported no further need for O2

Doctors have been reported as saying the heart attack was caused by an excessive combination of sunshine, moonlight and goodtimes

As a money making gimmick, plans are afoot to inter MJ, leave him for six months.
Then dig him up again, attach strings to his arms and legs. And make a brand new, ultra-realistic version of the thriller video.

Paramedics were wrong to take MJ to the hospital
They should have taken him to the nearest tyre centre, so he could be remoulded.

In his will MJ has stated that he would like to melted down and turned into toy guns.
As he wants to be “something hard that goes off in little boys hands”

Everyone is unsure if the funeral will be black or white

In a search of MJ’s house after his death, police have confimed they have found
class A drugs kitchen, class B drugs in the living room and class 4C in the bedroom.

Exclusive to MTV. Michael Jackson – Unplugged.

Difference between MJ and a grocery bag?
One is white, plastic and dangerous for kids to play with.
The other one can carry groceries.

MJ has been this stiff since McCauley Culkin came to stay for the weekend

Jacko’s ghost has already been seen in the kids ward, he is still putting the willies up them.

It has been announced that MJ cannot be cremated, due to fears of a toxic cloud.

MJ wants to be buried at sea, tethered to a buoy.

McDonalds are launching the McJack commemoration burger
 
It has 50 year old meat between 10 year old buns

Michael Jackson requested that his ashes be put into an 'etch-a-sketch' - that way, small children can still play with his knob.

Now that his nose has finally rejected him, he will be broken down for spares.

Ha, ha, very funny all, but didn't your mothers teach you any manners? This is supposed to be a conservative web-site?

De Mortuis Nil Nisi Bonum.

Go look it up.

Who knew that the semen of young boys was so laden with cholesterol?

What, too soon?

Michael Jackson hasn't been this stiff since McCauley Culkin came to stay over for the weekend.

He died of food poisoning ... eating 12 year old nuts.

What did he have in common with caviar? Both are spread out over little crackers.

* Jockeys at Ascot are to wear black armbands in memory of Michael Jackson, who successfully rode more three year olds than anyone else in
history.
* Michael Jackson's manager today confirmed that all of his dates in London have been cancelled. Both Jack age 6 and Jeremy age 8 were reported
to be devastated.
* Michael Jackson had a heart attack after hearing that £2000 for a 10 year old was actually referring to the UK scrappage scheme.

I heard that he choked to death on his nose, which he swallowed when it fell off.

Yet another triumph for the NHS.

NHS in Los Angeles? Not yet.

Give it time, Frank C.

News is reporting that in honor of Michael Jackson's passing, all children under age 12 are to wear their pants at half mast.

His greatest disappointment was in finding that "Boyz 2 Men" was not a delivery service.

Madonna sent her condolences to the Jackson family. Then asked how much they wanted for the kids.

What are Michael Jackson and Faraah Fawcett getting for Christmas?.....................................................Patrick Swayze

Boom tish!

MJ is to be melted down and turned into plastic bags but in the intrests of safety they will have printed on them "Keep away from children"

Yeah, making fun of dead people makes me feel better about myself too.