For starters dear readers can we take is as a given that if television set is now riddled with bullet holes & what little remaining glassware we had is now strewn across the floor. It’s not that your humble correspondent has been reading the latest details of exactly how much our political overlords have been embezzling from the taxpayer, in fact I returned to Free Market Towers in uncharacteristic good humour yesterday evening. My cursory check of the grounds revealed a purple Kagol bedecked rambler caught in one of the mantraps in the Lower Paddock: so having dispatched beardo & dumped the lifeless corpse in the swallow trench that is normally reserved for Green Party canvassers, I settled down to the earnest task of barbequing some suitably bloody bits of dead cow & thence graft myself onto the sofa of sloth with a bottle of something dark & peaty for the remainder of the evening.

Eschewing the somewhat dubious entertainment value of anything presented by that pair of Geordie twats, my attention was drawn to Who’s Watching You which was being shown by the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporation which is...

A new three part series looks at why the UK has become one of the most watched places in the world - with millions of CCTV cameras, a growing network of number plate recognition cameras, one of the largest DNA databases in the world and government plans for the basic details of all our phone calls e-mails, and every internet site we visit to be logged and kept

... which is really really nice because they will then have an extensive record of all of the How to Slaughter Government Snoopers Slowly & Painfully websites that I have visited over the years. In fact, the more that programme went on, the more rounds that we loosed across the sitting round & crockery thrown through the by now broken windows.

After an hour & the makings of a vast “accidental damage” insurance claim later, the only argument that I heard in favour of the staggering levels of surveillance that we stout bulldogs are subjected to is that “if you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear” from the hundreds & yes, I do mean hundreds of government agencies that have you under regular & unregulated surveillance.

Nothing to fear, my ar*e! Hang every one of those b*stards now. Without exception, without remorse.