Peter Andre & Bear Grylls in the same post - never say I don't push the boundaries of what is possible
Can it be true, have Katie & Peter really split up – come on, who is really going to admit to caring about anything other than whether these two vapid meeeeejar creations are doing anything other than rotting in shallow graves. Katie Price’s only contribution to society is to use up what little remained of the World’s silicon reserves after they had finished strip mining the small amount left over once Pammy was done.
Peter has contributed nothing to anything ever, save for being living proof that inappropriate use of hair products by men make you look an utter utter twat. Collectively, they have further diluted the integrity of the gene pool by spawning. For that crime as well as making unutterably bad reality TV shows, forget the divorce courts, all that should beckon both of ‘em is an early morning appointment with a noose.
But putting that to one side for a moment, we must turn our attention to important matters.
The question the weighs heavy on my mind this morning, is the news that Bear Grylls has been appointed Chief Scout. So in turn, the question I pose you this morning dear readers is that if you were out in the deep green oolu & down to your last bandana, who would you pick: Bear dib dib dib Grylls
or Ray fatty Mears
As ever, you the reader decide
Comments
Bear Grylls tries too hard. He's injure himself being a tool for the camera and need medical care.
On the other hand I saw Ray Mears carve an oar from a tree with an axe. Without once eating a reptile's still beating heart.
Posted by: Matt | May 19, 2009 8:12 AM
Pfooo,.. can't compare to be honest. Mears is the theorist and Grylls the practitioner. Grylls sometimes does things that are downright stupid from Mears's theoretical perspective while Mears overly relies on equipement and ready at hand knowledge. Either one of them would perform poorly as the other. If I had to choose I'd pick Grylls, because I like his style and he is definitely the more "roughty toughty".
Posted by: Brazilski | May 19, 2009 8:45 AM
Pick the fat one always; more to chow down on when times get really hard.
Posted by: The Englishman | May 19, 2009 11:04 AM
Anyone who had to grow up named after a Russian Kebab shop has got to be pretty hard...
Posted by: Bruce | May 19, 2009 12:23 PM
bush tucker man!...he would spit roast the two of them in a flash.
Posted by: thud | May 19, 2009 3:35 PM
There's no way Jordan would fit in a shallow grave.
Posted by: John K | May 19, 2009 4:13 PM
Follow the fat one. If you are in the deep green ulu, being able to climb mountains, drive boats, and not land a parachute properly are not relevant skills.
Posted by: Comfort Lover | May 19, 2009 4:14 PM
Ahhh,.. Bush Tucker man, when "survival" was still reserved and Steve Irwin still wresteled guinea pigs. What happened to him?
Posted by: Brazilski | May 19, 2009 4:40 PM
Neither. Anyone who ventures into the wilderness without a gun is not someone I want to follow.
Posted by: Kim du Toit | May 19, 2009 5:08 PM
Concur with Kim.
The one teaching should be the one with a firearm, campfire, and a proper swag to sleep in.
The loon I don't trust is the unarmed one wearing mud, sleeping in wet clothes, and eating bugs.
Posted by: Kristopher | May 19, 2009 6:28 PM
Neither of them have a weapon. Not even a knife.
Bad juju for their chances of survival.
The third option, which we were not given is that we would most likely fare better on our own than either one of them. The first is too dirty, the second is too clean.
Posted by: Cricket | May 19, 2009 7:16 PM
It has to be Fattie, being one myself I am prooof that even drunk I can find sustenance! He wouldnt let you starve would he?
Posted by: TimC | May 19, 2009 8:09 PM
Bear, obviously. Mears is a dullard, and would never win a bar fight. Bear is well 'ard, innit.
Posted by: Conrad | May 19, 2009 8:45 PM
Bush tucker man has close ties to Australian SAS...I believe firearms are not unknown amongst those chaps.
Posted by: thu | May 19, 2009 11:16 PM
Oh, yes, of course.
All Australians always obey insane government weapon edicts at all times.
How silly of me to think otherwise.
Posted by: Kristopher | May 20, 2009 2:34 AM
I know Bear is smart enough to stay at a Holiday Inn Express, I don't know about the other chap. Are they both wankers?
I nominate any politician from Mass. Kennedy, Franks, now there are some real survivors!
Posted by: dr kill | May 20, 2009 3:07 AM
Mears FTW. Because he generally makes himself comfy using his skills.
Grylls makes a feature of the discomfort he puts himself through. What a knob.
Cricket.
Mears advocates carrying a knife and does a nicely overpriced line of his own and I've seen episodes of his show where he's shot things to eat.
Grylls has a branded line of 'outdoor' clothing. 'nuf said.
Conrad.
Mike Tyson would win in a bar fight. Fighting in a bar just displays your stupidity. Throw him in the woods for a week and see how he deals with things.
Posted by: hippy | May 21, 2009 1:41 AM
I sit corrected, then. I grew up in the western US, so to get overly dirty or be overly clean while roughing it is odd. Nicely grubby is about what you would call it. We used to go camping near Cedar Breaks and Zion National Park, as well as around the Grand Canyon.
We were taught to take at least a knife, and some flint and steel, as well as a compass when we went hiking in case we got lost.
Then we moved to California. The coast is total hedonism, while back toward the Sierras you find people that are more self reliant.
Odd...
Posted by: Cricket | May 24, 2009 12:06 PM