My erstwhile host in Texas recommends that whenever striking up a conversation with a member of the Pictish nation, you should politely invite your counterparty to

Punch me now Jock & get it over with

because you just know that it is going to happen sooner of later. Indeed the social morels north of 'the wall' do seem to dictate that an evening out should involve, at the very least, a few casual heeeeedbutts (aka the Glasgow kiss) or the gratuitous use of a broken beer bottle.

Now in no way do I countenance violence against women in any of its many disgusting forms but when I read that

Police have launched an investigation after Labour MP Anne Moffat was attacked, BBC Scotland has learned. Ms Moffat said she was mugged by a gang of drunken youths and left with broken ribs while jogging near her home, in Cockenzie, East Lothian. The East Lothian MP was knocked unconscious and her watch and jewellery taken by her attackers

I cannot help but conclude that Hadrian was right all along.

However this post doesn’t intend to question why little Miz Moffat was wearing jewellery while out jogging … clearly her concept of physical exercise & mine, are markedly different. Where your humble correspondent would like to go with this post is to cast a jaundiced & bloodshot eye over her response to these events.

Now I know that many of you, upon hearing the news of this attack, will have a similar reaction to mine, which runs along the lines of why on earth haven’t more of our perfidious MPs been bludgeoned unconscious & how can we ensure that this occurs more regularly in the future. But it is Miz Moffat’s reaction that I find both interesting & distressing on two separate but connected levels.

Firstly, her statement that

These people are just scum

Of course, it is very rare to find such candour from our political class. However, I would have thought that calling anyone scum these days breaks about 25 pieces of anti-incitement legislation. Surely these people aren't scum, they are just disadvantaged?

I have no doubt that if your humble correspondent were to refer to anyone as scum public, I’d be on the receiving end of the six o’clock knock & the bracelets would be well & truly. If fact, these days even referring to anyone as Jock or Taffy probably constitutes racial harassment. Calling someone scum whether they are or not is an open invitation to the Crown Prosecution Service to try & pin one on you However in ZANU-Labour’s Britain, some are more equal than others.

Secondly & even more crucially, is Miz Moffat’s assertion that

Its made me more aware of what it's like to be a victim

Ah, the socialists holy of holies … she has ascended to the most hallowed of deities … that of victimhood. Note that she isn’t going to figure out how to ensure that this never happens again. She isn’t going to work out how to defend herself in future. She isn’t going to take any responsibility for herself or her actions: quite the reverse in fact, because she is now a VICTIM*.

To my mind, anyone that thinks of themselves as a victim deserves all that is coming to them.