Dear Cinner,
Stop having sex. As you’re married, it should be quite easy for both of you to give up sex altogether (with each other, anyway). Alternatively, if you absolutely can’t stop that silly boinking nonsense, try this: when Junior starts his tiresome knocking, you can always stop what you’re doing, open the bedroom door and have your naked wife whip him. This will ensure that he forever associates a naked woman with pain (not a bad life lesson right there), which will stand him in good stead during high school and college, where he can concentrate on his studies instead of trying to screw every young woman in sight like all the other horny little beasts. Then, when he needs to overcome this problem in his 20s, he can pay for his own therapy.—Dr. Kim

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