Late night flights & political lies
This morning dear readers I feel as though I might be the only person in Blighty that doesn’t seen to be getting all angsty about these two super secret CIA fights that stopped over to refuel on a small island in the Indian Ocean.
The Foreign Secretary apologised to MPs today after it emerged that two American “rendition flights” of CIA detainees had landed on British soil, contradicting previous statements from the Government.
Jimmy Garcia, Diego Garcia, Jerry Garcia … frankly who gives a damn? Terrorist scumbags deserve everything that is coming to them. Indeed over in the digital conspiracy theory corner of the Internet the ‘in-flight entertainment’ available on these flights causes much conjecture – indeed, I for one feel reassured that Rendition Air’s ‘passengers charter’ must make amusing reading, unlike this sent in by reader AEG …
Labour has been in government since 1997 and our achievements have revolutionised the lives of the British people. The values Labour stands for today are those which have guided it throughout its existence: social justice, strong communities, reward for hard work, decency and rights matched by responsibilities. We stand for the many not the few.
Certainly among many many others that I would dearly love to see unceremoniously hauled on to a one way flight to Guantanamo Bay, are the entire Labour Party given that they seem to have spent a lot of the last 7 years trying at the very least to appease our home grown Taliban & their supporters.
However, the socialists, shameless as ever go on to list their (cough cough) ‘top 50 achievements’ as follows …
1. Longest period of sustained low inflation since the 60s.
2. Low mortgage rates.
3. Introduced the National Minimum Wage and raised it to £5.52.
4. Over 14,000 more police in England and Wales.
5. Cut overall crime by 32 per cent.
6. Record levels of literacy and numeracy in schools.
7. Young people achieving some of the best ever results at 14, 16, and 18.
8. Funding for every pupil in England has doubled.
9. Employment is at its highest level ever.
10. Written off up to 100 per cent of debt owed by poorest countries.
11. 85,000 more nurses.
12. 32,000 more doctors.
13. Brought back matrons to hospital wards.
14. Devolved power to the Scottish Parliament.
15. Devolved power to the Welsh Assembly.
16. Dads now get paternity leave of 2 weeks for the first time.
17. NHS Direct offering free convenient patient advice.
18. Gift aid was worth £828 million to charities last year.
19. Restored city-wide government to London.
20. Record number of students in higher education.
21. Child benefit up 26 per cent since 1997.
22. Delivered 2,200 Sure Start Children’s Centres.
23. Introduced the Equality and Human Rights Commission.
24. £200 winter fuel payment to pensioners & up to £300 for over-80s.
25. On course to exceed our Kyoto target for reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
26. Restored devolved government to Northern Ireland.
27. Over 36,000 more teachers in England and 274,000 more support staff and teaching assistants.
28. All full time workers now have a right to 24 days paid holiday.
29. A million pensioners lifted out of poverty.
30. 600,000 children lifted out of relative poverty.
31. Introduced child tax credit giving more money to parents.
32. Scrapped Section 28 and introduced Civil Partnerships.
33. Brought over 1 million social homes up to standard.
34. Inpatient waiting lists down by over half a million since 1997.
35. Banned fox hunting.
36. Cleanest rivers, beaches, drinking water and air since before the industrial revolution.
37. Free TV licences for over-75s.
38. Banned fur farming and the testing of cosmetics on animals.
39. Free breast cancer screening for all women aged between 50-70.
40. Free off peak local bus travel for over-60s.
41. New Deal - helped over 1.8 million people into work.
42. Over 3 million child trust funds have been started.
43. Free eye test for over 60s.
44. More than doubled the number of apprenticeships.
45. Free entry to national museums and galleries.
46. Overseas aid budget more than doubled.
47. Heart disease deaths down by 150,000 and cancer deaths down by 50,000.
48. Cut long-term youth unemployment by 75 per cent.
49. Free nursery places for every three and four-year-olds.
50. Free fruit for most four to six-year-olds at school.
Yeah right! Now among my many favourites which by some mysterious editorial oversight, are not listed in Liebour's websh*te are:
A. Destruction of both the Union
B. Selling out the UK to Brussels
C. Exponential growth in the size of government
D. More sleaze that the top shelf of a porn store
E. Expropriation of billions of pounds of taxpayers money
F. Lies to Parliament & lies to the electorate
G. No viable policy on the economy, law & order, immigration, education, transport, health the environment or any thing else come to that
H. Pandering to the increasingly absurd whims of anyone that wears a pair of sandals or who works for the Health & Safety Executive
I. Overseeing the destruction of our long standing civil liberties
J. The continuing appeasement of the economically inactive
& lots more besides which I don’t have time to list here as I need to spend some time this morning, finishing off my latest lorry bomb. Sadly however, if there is one thing that is worse than the Labour Party under Blair or Brown, it’s the Tories under whichever muppet is leading them this week … which is why, come the next election (whenever that might be) you will be able to find me, suitably tooled up, in the clock tower
Comments
Interesting that they are no longer claiming to have "taken hand guns off the street"...
"Banning handguns is a major step towards improving public safety, Home Office Minister Alun Michael said today.
Mr Michael said: "Only the strictest control of firearms will protect the public. That is why the Government is determined to remove the menace of handguns from our streets.
"From the latest information available, a total of 142,000 handguns have been handed into the police. The removal of so many weapons from our streets is a major step forward in helping to promote the safety of the public.
"Over the coming weeks, the police will be routinely following up each certificate holder recorded on their systems who has not been in touch with them. This double check will establish any remaining illegal possession."
http://www.prnewswire.co.uk/cgi/news/release?id=19866
Posted by: EX_STAB | February 22, 2008 10:41 AM
Perhaps instead of these complicated 'rendition flights' the detainees (both terrorist and Labour - fairly similar after all) could be loaded into the bomb-bays of a flight of Lancasters and flown to mid-Atlantic? We could have a raffle or something to decide who gets to open the doors...
Posted by: Bruce | February 22, 2008 11:38 AM
Bruce,
Sadly there is only one Lancaster left (though I believe the Canucks have one the might lend us - some sort of recipocal deal maybe?).
What there are plenty of however are old cannon. Go nad check any military base and I'm sure there're a couple of trophies outside the GOC's office. And these could be used to dispatch both terrorists and MPs in the good old fashioned way we used to deal with colonial mutineers: one by charge of powder, one by wad rammed into the breech. Strap one by miscreant to the business end, light blue touch paper and stand well back for a spectacular show. I think you'll agree that in terms of impoved throughput my method is far superior and would be easier to film for television as well. There's more chance to make money on the raffle as well, given that there will be many opportunities to win the right to dispatch a condemned.
Posted by: The Remittance Man | February 22, 2008 2:48 PM
Ah, yes!
Blowing from guns!
An excellent suggestion
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/archive/b/be/20071126151909!Vereshchagin-Blowing_from_Guns_in_British_India.jpg
Posted by: EX_STAB | February 22, 2008 3:25 PM
I stand corrected, a far superior answer! I wonder if we could utilise larger calibre guns aimed out to sea and actually use the 'miscreant' as a projectile? That way lucky 'competitors' could choose the load, wad etc. and prizes could be awarded for how far the projectile goes before splashdown. It also means less mess to clean off the guns plus fatter fish for our trawlermen. Ah, a man can dream...
Posted by: Bruce | February 22, 2008 3:54 PM
I'm just hoping that occasionally the C.I.A. flights landed with less terrorists/passengers than they took off with.
Posted by: thud | February 22, 2008 4:01 PM
actually I am proud of this support, That list is like the brave musicians claiming accolade for the various tunes they played on the tilting deck back on the April 14, 1912,
Sure there are heaps more teachers but f,all learning, more police just no policing, and so it goes on. Great blog, thank you
Posted by: chris Edwards | February 22, 2008 8:37 PM
Wait a sec... I don't want to go all Malvinas on our cousins, but IS Diego Garcia fully British soil? I thought that the U.S. secured a 100-year lease on the land, as payment for our assistance during the slight disturbances of the early 1940s.
Posted by: Kim du Toit | February 23, 2008 6:33 AM
Strap them into this:
http://www.trademe.co.nz/Browse/Listing.aspx?id=141522324
and see how far they will go :D
Posted by: Rhys | February 23, 2008 7:54 AM