“You might get Shakespeare on BBC2 but you can’t beat this for drama”
Now look, something went wrong, we don’t know what exactly but I very much doubt the British Airways intended its aircraft to end up in pieces on the tarmac. At the moment, the pilot is being lauded as a hero although when the preliminary accident report is published tomorrow lunchtime, if it was a case of pilot error, lets just say that both his professional reputation & job prospects will plunge even faster than his Boeing 777 did yesterday afternoon. However possibly by dint of skill & luck, Biggles managed to get his plane over the perimeter fence & then promptly wrote it off.
Luckily, everyone walked away & indeed the passengers probably cleared Heathrow’s lackadaisical immigration controls quicker than they would have done under normal circumstances – see, even serious accidents can have their upsides. Sadly the stiff upper lip that for so long was the hallmark of the stout bulldog, is these days only found Botox clinics & a sort of mass hysteria has broken out … along with a frenzy of mutual masturbation of self congratulation about how magnificently everyone performed. In a less dramatic era it would have just been referred to as doing the job you had been trained for & people would have slipped quietly away of restorative a cup of tea.
Last night on the Bolshevik Broadcasting Corporations evening news, the whole piece could have been written by the sandal wearing tie-dye all aviation is evil chicken licken rabble: Yes, this aircraft could have crashed into the houses that surround Heathrow … but it didn’t; It could have crashed into the traffic that was on the perimeter road … but it didn’t … in fact having listened to the entire report I am frankly amazed that anyone has ever taken a flight & arrived at their destination. In fact, while the pilot was surprisingly skilful at missing all of the obstacles in the way of what little remained of his flight path, avoiding the wide open mouths of ministers opining on this incident is a whole lot more difficult.
This morning, listening to the wireless on my way to the station, there was even that uber-nanger Brown carping on about it. You would have thought that with a country to run he might have better things to do – but no, not when there is a sound bite opportunity. Sadly I suppose that it is no surprise that our Prime Minister is joining the ranks of those that have seen fit to start gobbing off about this particular topic given that this week, even he has had to describe one of his minister’s actions as
an incompetence
Clearly our money is well spent of their salaries. In fact as at the moment it looks as though the accident was caused by some sort of technical failure, maybe the taxpayers money might be better spent of hiring the likes of Capt Peter Burkill who was flying Flight BA038 – at least he seems to know what to do when things go wrong … unlike this government.
Comments
Ah, but Brown was being driven round the perimeter road on his way to catch a plane as it happened, nearly, my precious, nearly...
Posted by: The Englishman | January 18, 2008 9:08 AM
"Biggles managed to get his plane over the perimeter..."
It appears it was actually Biggles' co-pilot, according to the latest press briefing. If so, what was the pilot doing...?
Posted by: JuliaM | January 18, 2008 6:38 PM
Julia,
Having his wicked way with a bevvie of stewardesses as every pilot should during final approach.
Sorry, I've just returned from a work's social function, at which alcohol was the only escape from maudlin managers.
Posted by: The Remittance Man | January 18, 2008 8:49 PM
Actually the standard operating procedure is for the co-pilot to handle the flight controls and the pilot to handle the systems and manage the situation, as that's easily the more demanding role.
More importantly, which idiot suggested that the pilots be given medals the size of a frying pan? They did a good job, yes, but at the end of the day they didn't put themselves in any more danger than necessary, and were simply saving their own skins...
Posted by: geraldae | January 18, 2008 9:23 PM
No gongs, but they should be allowed to sport huge RAF moustaches, and swagger about the terminal with the top button of their uniform tunic unbuttoned.
/RAF moustaches for the stewardi too!!
Posted by: Bomber Harris | January 18, 2008 9:34 PM
What do you mean write off? Bit of tcut and it will polish out. You should see my van.
Posted by: Ghostrifle | January 18, 2008 9:57 PM
I think they fitted my engine!
Posted by: TimC | January 18, 2008 10:25 PM
The BBC has a new, gripping update:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7197506.stm
Funny, I'd have thought they'd just have left it there to concentrate the minds of all the other pilots....
Posted by: JuliaM | January 19, 2008 5:16 PM
Eventually they'll get the thing up on dollies, drag it to some out-of-the-way spot, and consider extracting the luggage from the cargo bays. The good news is that it will stack much more compactly now.
Posted by: Billll | January 20, 2008 1:53 AM