Afghanistan & Iraq: Our greatest foreign policy successes
I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners - two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime
P J O’Rourke
The liberal left are above all else, a dreary bunch – all dogma & no gundogs. There is barely 5 minutes in a day devoted to the incessant fight against globalization to even save the rainforest, never mind the dolphins. Therefore, the meejars coverage of Iraq & Afghanistan should come as absolutely no surprise to those of us that believe that it is automatic grenade launcher that represents the true triumph of western civilization & not publicly funded healthcare.
Thus dear readers, this morning we are going to take a look through beer bleary eyes at why Iraq & Afghanistan aren’t “our worst foreign policy failures since Suez”, in fact they represent the greatest success since Bomber Harris asked if any member of his staff had a pack of England’s Glory
Therefore, without further ado, let fully embrace Mesopotamian Mayhem & The Great Game 2006 but with our usual sense of perspective…
Hang ‘em high
We now have the delicious prospect of a murderous dictator making the ‘long drop’. Not only will this provide the live broadcast opportunity of the millennium but Free Market Global Media Inc is proud to be able to announce that it has just concluded a corporate sponsorship agreement with Judge Parker Ropemakers of Fort Smith, Arkansas
The Iraqi Civil War
Lets deal with this lil chestnut. As the security situation deteriorates in small portions of the country, what do we actually have – two groups of Muslim religious fanatics killing one & other with an efficiency that is starting to manifest elements of positively Germanic thoroughness. And the problem with that is this what exactly?
Casualties
As at 24 November 2006, a total of 126 British Armed Forces personnel have died serving on Operation TELIC since the start of the campaign in March 2003. Of these, 96 are classed as killed in action, including as a result of hostile action, and 30 are known to have died either as a result of illness, non-combat injuries or accidents, or have not yet been officially assigned a cause of death, pending the outcome of an investigation
As at 19 October 2006, a total of 41 British Forces personnel have died while serving in Afghanistan since the start of operations in November 2001. Of these, 20 are classed as killed in action, including as a result of hostile action, and 21 are known to have died either as a result of illness, non-combat injuries or accidents, or have not yet officially been assigned a cause of death pending the outcome of an investigation
Grievous though every casualty, to put this into perspective, British Army deaths in road traffic accidents 07 to date? 61.
Removal of the Taliban has permitted increased opium production
So there is more heroin on the streets & falling prices mean more overdoses which means … less TV documentaries featuring ex-junkies wanting our approbation for doing something that was a phuquing stupid idea in the first place ... because they are dead. Again, the problem with that is what exactly?
Investment returns
The Free Market Fund Management Company’s Un-ethical Fund (invested in companies that deliver year on year capital & divided growth i.e. banks, big oil & arms) has never delivered such high returns
British foreign policy is alienating a generating of on Muslim youths
They will run out of martyrs long before we run out of ammunition. Have any of you seen the price at which 6-month virgin contracts for Paradise delivery are trading at, at the moment?
but best of all, we now have a President of Afghanistan called Karzai* or Pres WC to his mates
Karzai/Khazi – (n) Army slang for lavatory. In rhyming slang, “Benghazi” Although crapper, head, WC, office & throne are all acceptable, the Raj connotations of 'Khazi', plus the fact that it is usually pronounced in tones redolent of Sid James in 'Carry On Up The Khyber', makes it the preferred term
Dont you just love it when a plan comes together??
Comments
And don't forget that falling Heroine prices mean that junkies have to rob less stuff to pay for their habits, which means falling crime rates too!
Posted by: Andy | November 30, 2006 11:58 AM
Lord knows, grim situations require [by necessity] black humour...but that doesn't excuse such a deeply distasteful post. For somebody who is ?ex-service and who seems to enjoy stories of military valour, you are pretty bloody short of compassion. Even though I understand why you would use RTA figures to illustrate a "low" cas rate, I still can't believe you make the comparison for the sake of such an odious polemic. Why not go tell it to Mrs T.Atkins, eh? They all signed on the dotted line and, RTA or IED, they deserve better than such crass equivalence.
My dad's old mob have recently returned from the 'Stan, minus several brave lads. He is as proud and as sorrowful - and as angry - as one might expect. I'd like to see you deliver your grubby little synopsis to his face - especially the bit about rising share prices, you utter wanker. If the lives of servicemen and Iraqi civilians are but mere footnotes when compared to the size of your military-industrial hard-on, then may I suggest that your talents are wasted here. There's a nice little opium/arms bazaar with your name on it. Grow the required beard and fuck off out there.
(And WTF have gundogs got to do with it? I own a hard working black lab - always have, always will. Only a member of the weekending, pseudo-country-set would see that as a political distinction. As an actual native of "these 'ere parts", I despise your arrogance and all your "stout bulldog" bullshit. May all your shots be wide.)
Posted by: RHA_Labrador | December 4, 2006 3:18 PM