At last some happy political news ....

The most self-serving and principle-free parliamentarian ever to disgrace the House of Commons is back and he'll do whatever it takes to keep Prime Minister Tony Blair in power. The despicable spoof Conservative politician Alan B'Stard, who mocked the "Greed is Good" era of rampant capitalism and pilloried Margaret Thatcher's government in a television satire, has defected to the Labour Party.

I can't wait. Just in case any of you missed the original series, a little background material.

It is May 1987 and Alan Beresford B'Stard is elected - at the age of 31 - as the Conservative MP for the North Yorkshire constituency of Haltemprice.

His majority, 26,738, is the largest in the House of Commons, a fact not unconnected to the head-on car crash involving his two principal election opponents, the Labour and SDP candidates, who are presently in hospital instead of on the hustings. To prevent the police from revealing that their cars had been tampered with, B'Stard promises to push through Parliament a bill enabling the boys in blue to pack pistols instead of truncheons. What he doesn't explain is that he can get the weapons for them, wholesale, made from recycled frying pans, and that they may not work very well.

& in the words of the great man himself

"New Labour are young, they are sexy, and they are much more right wing than the Conservative Party. I was tempted by the far right, but then I thought, No, let's go the whole hog and join New Labour."

Tee hee, this should be good!