Clearly, criminality is such a way of life in among the gogs that the most effective way of protecting the law abiding minority is by persecuting them for doing 35 in a 30 mph zone. That is really going to strike the fear of God into the hearts of hardened criminals - & if it doesn’t, the fines raise a lot of money for the police beer fund & it also looks good on the crime statistics, because nicking people for speeding has an almost 100% ‘clear up rate’.

However, Bumsum has now found a new target for his puritanical zeal – job applicants from his force that have the temerity to smoke. I know, I know; how could such social pariahs possibly seek to want to serve the public, given that Nu no spine Labour holds paedophiles in higher regard than those that enjoy the odd cigarette.Thus, we now have the situation where the North Wales Police is running internal advertisements that specifically excludes smokers form applying to become traffic officers. Bumsum has also ordered staff who smoke at work to end their

“nasty & dangerous habit”

or face disciplinary action. Ah, I predict that m’learn’d friends will soon be pocketing not insubstantial fees from the inevitable litigation.

Thus no more will North Wales finest be selected for their bravery, devotion to duty or crime fighting acumen. Ponder this, under these proposals, Sherlock Holmes CV would go straight in the bin. Clearly our Celtic neighbours have a different set of priorities probably brought on by way too much singing in close harmony. Still all of this nonsense is just reason No. 753 to rebuild Offa’s Dyke – as if we needed any more excuses.

Sadly, matters aren’t a lot better in England. If you recall the story of a few months ago of the Oxford student that got arrested for calling a police horse ‘gay’ – well, very correctly, said student refused to pay an £80 fixed penalty notice. Clearly, because the case is in the public interest, the Crown Prosecution Service is pressing on & the whole matter is now going to trial if for no other reason than this is such an excellent use of taxpayers money.

I cannot wait to hear said police horse’s testimony & the defence council’s cross-examination of the animal which no doubt will quantify exactly the distress & hurt feelings that both horse & officer must have suffered. As the onus of proof is still on the prosecution, surely it is down to the CPS to prove that said horse is firmly heterosexual & not ensconced on the alternative omnibus. I wonder in the prosecution will be passing pictures around the court of said horse getting stuck into a pretty young mare (or indeed, the other way round as the news wires haven’t indicated the flavour of said animal). The burden of proof or was that poof could be interesting to say the least.

Its no wonder then with the priorities that the police seem to have on both sides of the dyke (sorry sorry – I just could resist slipping that one in) that anyone with a modicum of common sense has no faith in them – which is probably why last week, they were demanding the right to lock us up for 90 days without charge.