That Crazy Frog is at it again
As I type this, I am sitting on the train back to the modicum of civilisation that constitutes the West Country. Currently, I am pondering which of my fellow passengers phones is going to ring first - & not only ring, but ring with that Crazy Frog ring tone. There we have it, 4,000 years of Romano – Grecian logic overlaid with 2,000 years of Judeo- Christian teaching, all distilled into a cartoon frog with no genitals; ah, the triumph of western civilisation. Its not that I particularly mind those Teutonic ring-ding-dings – I would much rather these latter day Huns spent their time fiddling around on synthesisers & graphics packages. Much better that than they reapplied themselves to building dive bombers & panzers. Nope, my issues with that Crazy Frog ringtone are slightly different because every time I hear it I am reminded of Jackie Chirac.
The sight of last weeks euro-love in descending into a battle of girly handbaggings was greeted with supertanker loads of myth round at Free Market Towers. I have never seen so many brave faces being worn by so much eurotrash. As far as entertainment value goes, it just doesn’t get any better.
However nothing quite prepared us for Jackie C’s little bout of garlic induced teddy throwing, as he declared that he was King Subsidy & that rather than being prepared to discuss the zillions of pounds that are already spunked away on subsidies for the anachronistic French agricultural system – he wanted the British taxpayer to give French peasants even more of our taxes … so that they can hang around all day, perfecting their Pastis drinking & shoulder shrugging technique.
In a straw poll conducted last night in the public bar of The Duke of Wellington’s Arms & after a surfeit of Trafalgar ale, 100% of stout bulldogs interviewed felt that Johnny Frenchman might want to consider a little bit of rationalisation in the countryside & if they didn’t, we would be forced to impose a regime of sanctions up to & including the smearing mayonnaise on soufflés & the banning of all ‘film noir’ … if for no other reason than as a genre, it is a load of complete & utter tonk!
However, with sickening predictability, the Crazy Frog will no doubt be ring-ding-dinging on about the maintenance of French traditions. Frankly, how they ever got rid of slavery & child labour is a complete mystery to your humble correspondent, with attitudes like that. Funny how everybody else has modernised their agricultural systems yet it seems to be a measure of pride to the perfidious French, that other countries be expected to financially support their system that was out of date, 30 years ago.
Comments
I think the're quite right to be proud of it, where else in history has one nation been able to get such financial assistance without fielding an army or paying interest?
No I'm afraid it's quite an achievement; we're the ones who should be ashamed.
Posted by: fdm | June 21, 2005 12:58 PM
A minor point of biology: Frogs don't have external genitalia. Haven't you noticed?
Posted by: bird dog | June 21, 2005 1:47 PM
Yabbut, the 'Crazy Frog' has a todger which is blanked out by a black bar on the ads.
Frogs don't have external tackle, but then you don't see many wearing flying helmets, goggles and going "ring ding ding ding boaaarrrr" either.
Posted by: Lurch | June 21, 2005 2:39 PM
Most frogs I see in this part of the west country are about 6 inches long & 4 wide and about an nth thick with the tread of an aged Goodyear patterning their backs
Posted by: humph | June 21, 2005 4:28 PM
4,000 years of Romano – Grecian logic overlaid with 2,000 years of Judeo- Christian teaching and people still want to live in the West Country???!!!!
Posted by: Keano | June 23, 2005 5:28 PM
France has agriculture?
I think we lost more crop in the last big hailstorm here in Iowa than France produced in a good year.
Posted by: phuqueoff | June 23, 2005 8:18 PM
Quite a lot of France is agricultural. Close to third world even - and getting closer the more socialist their policies become...
Posted by: markm | June 26, 2005 11:45 AM