I desperately tried to invoke the heavenly muse to write something even half-sensible about the Kofta Annan & the UN Money – For – Son scandal … but there no commentary that a humble man like me could provide that hasn’t already been blogged.

Next off on my list are the Liberal Democrats for proposing that mothers caught shoplifting should not be incarcerated, because their thieving little offspring might suffer. In fact, why on earth go to the time & trouble of imprisoning anymore – bleeding heart parole boards release felons at the first opportunity, to re-offend with predictable alacrity. However, to get properly stuck into this topic would probably herald the immediate demise of what little crockery remains in FM Towers & a panicked phone call from my libel lawyers about comments I would be sure to make about ‘bottle a day’ Kennedy.

So as an anodyne replacement, it is probably best that I should stick to school dinners & I don’t mean that ‘restaurant’ in London where shapely & scantily clad ‘dinner ladies’ hand out complimentary canings. Nope – today, our topic is proper meat & 2 veg … all boiled to buggery school dinners or at least the lamentable menus that are served to our little darlings.

So, celeb mockney cook Jamie ‘fella’ Oliver has berated my little Tony so much so that Mr Blah has been forced to pledge a further £280m in catering budgets – enabling Education Secretary Ruth Kelly to pledge that every primary school will spend 50p per meal rising to 60p per meal secondary schools – approximately 25% of the catering budget available for prison inmates; not that according to the Lib Dems anyone should be locked up.

Now, £280m sounds a lot of money if you are as overdrawn as I am, but in the finest traditions of Nu Labour expenditure proposals, £60m will be spent on the soon to be established School Meals Trust that will advise on menus & organise ‘Food Weeks’ to ‘educate’ children & parents. Call me a cynical old soak, but I smell another quango!