Liverpool - its as bad as they say it is
The new Liverpool manager sent scouts out around the world looking for a new striker to replace Michael Owen and hopefully win Liverpool the title.
One of the scouts informs him of a young Afghan striker who he thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. The Liverpool manager flies to Kabul to watch him and is suitably impressed and arranges him to come over to Anfield. Two weeks later,Liverpool are 4-0 down to Man Utd with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Afghan striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football.
Hello mum, guess what?" he says. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me."
"Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, while you were having a great time."
The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry."
"Sorry?!" says his mum, "It's your fault we moved to Liverpool in the first place!"
Comments
Nice joke, the 1st time I heard it though, it was a young Bosnia who won the Super Bowl for the Detroit Lions
Posted by: Dan | March 2, 2005 4:23 PM
A Biker wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees are a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. The biker looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, reading "Honey, breakfast is on the stove. I left early to go shopping. Love you!"
He goes to the kitchen and sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
The man asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, the biker asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you yelled, 'Lady, leave me alone, I'm a married man'!"
Posted by: bjbarron | March 4, 2005 2:42 AM