Drugs & Newspapers
I spent yesterday grafted on to the sofa of sloth, bombed out on weapons grade painkillers. I am pleased to be able to report that Dihydrocodeine is a true manifestation of the triumph of western medicine. The formidable ward sister that issued me with them informed me that on the dosage I was being given, I “shouldn’t even think about drinking” – clearly she is a regular reader of this blog & thus the current bottle of single malt currently languishes unopened ... pah!
I was also issued with Diclofenac (a pain killer & anti-inflammatory drug) which didn’t seem to be as effective. This I fear that this has nothing to do with the best endeavours of the drugs manufacturer Dexcel-Pharma, & more to do with the front page of yesterdays Daily Telegraph.
Here is a little medley of the stories it covered;
1. Seems that our Sikh community doesn’t like freedom of speech/expression. A couple of riots & a few death threats later, & play in question is being pulled. Whilst by all accounts this play is a right load of twaddle, just because it offends the Sikhs is no reason for it to be cancelled – anyone for self censorship in 2005??
Alternatively, I am currently considering declaring myself a human manifestation of a obscure deity & founding the Church of Free Trade & Conspicuous Consumption. Every time some Nu labour pinko socialist control freak politician speaks, we will claim that our religion is being offended & if they don’t shut up we will rain down empty bottles of Moet & Range Rover keys upon them until such time as they shut up … or the European Court of Human Rights rules in our favour.
2. Blair & Brown managed a new record - public sector borrowing in the month of November, alone … £9.4 billon. What ever happened to prudence?? Yet more monies borrowed on the never never to be spunked away on ever more wasteful government spending programmes.
3. ID cards - MPs voting 385 to 93 to give the bill a second reading. Tagged like our cattle, please remember dear bulldogs, you are a number not a free man.
4. Royal Navy – our woefully under funded senior service has paid for two sailors one of them a man to have cosmetic breast surgery – what price Drake & Hawkins today, me hearties?? I discussed this matter with the Old Salthorse over breakfast (bacon & eggs, what else) & as he commented,
“I an delighted that I am no longer serving, otherwise I’d have ratings that I had just shouted at, phoning the helpline asking to speak to the duty Sea Lord to complain what a brute I was.”
Also, rather than buying something useful like enough body armour for our troops serving in Iraq & Afghanistan the MoD has seen fit to pay for four soldiers have ‘cosmetic’ nose operations @ £3,000 a pop & a further six women to have breast enhancement/or reduction surgery at £2,500. Our money well spent. Clearly that is what ‘Tax & Waste’ Brown is borrowing all that money for.
Nope, after that little lot, there isn’t an anti-inflammatory drug yet created that could help my condition.
Comments
Surely those MOD spending plans are covering essential Front Line defences - Ms Jordan thingy will be a field marshall before we Know it!
Posted by: hugh | December 22, 2004 1:21 PM
A speedy recovery to you, sir!
And a merry Christmas to the FM family!
Posted by: Tom | December 23, 2004 1:34 PM
Good grief. That should keep you out of mischief for a while.
I hope your pub makes deliveries... errrr once the painkillers have worn off, of course.
[eyecross]
I have actually heard that codeine stops one's bowels from functioning properly -- in which case some anti-bung medication is called for.
I suggest Guinness.
Posted by: Kim du Toit | December 24, 2004 4:45 AM