Benefits of the hunting ban
Last Saturday, Mrs FM & a few of her chums (the Tedworth Hunt & Royal Artillery Hunt joined forces for the day) once more sallied forth o’er our local downlands in an attempt to exercise a little personal freedom before that uber-b*****d Blair seeks to destroy hundreds of years of countryside tradition in the middle of February.
Last week, I gently pointed out one of the first benefits of this pernicious legislation. Farmers who have traditional tolerated foxes on their land because they either hunt or support their local hunt, now want these populations completely destroyed – what busy fellows those of us that enjoy our vermin control will be. Apologies (not really) to the animal rights numpties – but foxy loxy is going to be getting the good news at velocities in excess of 2,500 fps rrrrreal soon. However, I am also pleased, no that is way too mild – absolutely delighted to be able to report that there is another benefit starting to manifest itself.
In April, Mrs FM has a special birthday (politeness & a desire to remain attached to my testicles dictates that I should not specify exactly which birthday). Anyway, as the memsahib will no longer be able to kill things with packs of hounds, she in her infinite wisdom, has decreed that instead, she will take up killing things with a shotgun. This of course makes the whole birthday present issue suddenly terribly easy … & I now have a mandate to visit everyone of our local gunshops (as if I don’t anyway) under the auspices of tracking down something suitable. Maybe a little something like this…
a Beretta 686 Special Game in 20-guage, sporting 28 inch barrels & weighing in at a lithe 6lbs 5oz. In good condition, this particular little chap is currently available on Guntrader for £700. Speaking as someone who has shot more than his fair share of wildlife the with 12-guage version of this weapon … they work beautifully!
However, I am delighted to be able to say that the story does not quite stop there.
A lot of fellows that hunt already shoot – but until now, the same hasn’t applied to ‘huntin’ gels’. However, several of Mrs FM girlie hunting chums are setting their horses aside & applying for shotgun certificates (cue tears of laughter) – so there you go scumbag Labour backbench MPs; your vindictive legislation is contributing to an increase in firearms ownership - & that is definitely a very very good thing, as well as being down right amusing.
Of course this isn’t the the first time this has happened. When the then Home Secretary Michael ‘no pistols’ Howard took away our private property, his support came broadly from two camps. Firstly, it came from the stock in trade gun grabbers; but secondly, it came from genuinely well meaning people who misguidedly believed that by reducing legally owned firearms, gun crime would correspondingly reduced. This latter group were aghast & absolutely horrified when many of us took our compensation cheques & spent the monies on … wait for it … more guns.
On a personal note, another firearm in FM Towers tips us over the brink as my gun safe is currently full to capacity & even just one little shotgun won’t fit. Yes oh yes … time to buy another cabinet & please rest easy dear readers, it is going to be the biggest one I can get my filthy mits on as I have a little shopping list mapped out for next year – but more on that next week.
Comments
What can i say? Bravo!
Posted by: Timtoo | December 17, 2004 1:18 PM
I know what you mean. I can't fit another thing in my cabinet. Plus everytime I get an item of clothing out of my cupboard, shotgun cartridges fall all over the place. I'm going to have to throw some clothes away.
Posted by: JohnJo | December 17, 2004 2:28 PM
Heheheh... a pox on the gun-grabbers. Not being as wealthy as Mr. FM, I had to settle for a cut-price O/U shotgun for The Mrs. Still Italian-made, however.
I still prefer my old Browning Sweet Sixteen, however.
Meant to ask you, Mr. FM: is 16ga ammo readily available Over There? And in reasonable variety?
(Planning for our next trip to Blighty, once the exchange rate has dropped to oh, 5:1.)
Posted by: Kim du Toit | December 19, 2004 4:50 AM
When it comes to gun safes, in order to be cost effective you must spread the cost over many firearms. A $1000 safe is an absurd amount of overhead for one rifle. But, the same $1000 used to protect 10 firearms is a much more reasomable $100 each. Hence, if you have free space, you are not making the most of your investment, and the cost of the safe per gun is quite high. Do yourself a favor and buy a few more firearms ...to reduce cost, of course! How can you afford not to?
Posted by: Robert Douglas | December 22, 2004 4:13 PM
You're insane. No two ways about it. Completely off your rag.
Posted by: Basil Brush | May 3, 2005 1:01 AM