Abu Hamster & Dirty Harry
Mrs FM suggested that the best way to deal with Abu Hamster was simply to shoot him -as solutions go, it has a certain simplistic elegance to it plus you don’t need a lawyer at a zillion pounds an hour to do it – there is a long queue as us that will offer our services to the Crown for free.
Unfortunately it transpires that the long suffering UK taxpayer is incurring additional costs…
If, burst eardrums notwithstanding, being a Wimbledon ball-boy is one of the cushiest jobs in the world, then this must be one of the worst - Abu Hamza's bottom wiper. The Muslim extremist - dubbed Hook - has no hands and is unable to look after his own personal hygiene in Belmarsh jail.
So, says the Mirror, he has got a £30,000-a-year nurse, called Harry, whose job it is to do it for him.
"He's known as Dirty Harry," a prison source says. "This guy has got one of the worst jobs in the world. His main reason for being there is to clean Hamza's backside.
"Everyone's having a laugh about it, but Hamza can't be left unclean. It would be a health hazard."
Hamza has had his two metal hooks removed and been given two special £5,000 replacements because it was feared he could use the originals as weapons. But how bad is the food in Belmarsh prison that Hook requires a full-time bum wiper?
(Via Anorak)
I would have though my old belt sander would have done the job just as well.
Comments
Not that he wouldn't deserve the belt sander, you better watch out, the ICRC might come down on you for those comments
Posted by: Dan | July 2, 2004 7:33 PM
Uuuuhhhmmm... Yuck.
Talk about a $%@tty job!
Posted by: Stephen Blythe | July 3, 2004 1:22 AM
Poor bastard, I wonder what he did to get stuck with that duty.
Posted by: Dan | July 4, 2004 6:12 AM
I would think that a bidet would cost less.
I saw them in every restroom in Abu Dhabi and Dubai I was in, both public and private, so I'd imagine he'd already be used to it's function.
Posted by: gandalf23 | August 2, 2004 10:34 PM