Brothers in arms: Tommy in the 21st Century
John Keegan, the famous military analyst & historian on an encounter he had with a tall, lean, crew-cut young man he met in Washington. The conversation went as follows:
Marine? I asked.
Yes, he answered.
Have you just been in Iraq?
Afghanistan. Just got back.
The exchange was straight out of Kipling.
This is my Christmas 'forces' post to remind you (not that frankly any of you need reminding) to say or prayer or spare a thought for those who are in harm's way this Christmas, on our behalf.
Carrying on the Kipling theme, it is worth recalling Peter Pindar's updating of 'Tommy'
We aren't made for cool Britannia; we leave boot marks on the floor.
We don't walk like Peter Mandelson or talk like Jack Straw.
Call us forces of conservatism, if it suits your turn
But we're off like some world fire brigade when the flash-points start to burn.
Yes it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that that, an' spend less on defence,
But who walks the streets of Basra when the air is getting tense?
When the air is getting tense, boys, from Kabul to Kosovo
Who'll say goodbye to wife and kids, and shoulder pack and go?
The Queen, she's sat in Windsor now for 50 years or more.
She'll see this government depart like the other one before.
And Blair & Bush & Chirac make their plans to no avail
But who remains to serve the Crown when politicians fail?
O it's Tommy change your values - now diversity's the game;
But when Christmas leave is cancelled, then whose tyrants are to blame?
There's tyrants in the mountains, boys, and tyrants in the sands,
So farewell to wives & risk your lives for them in foreign lands.
If any of you arn't familiar with Kipling's original, it is in the extended entry. Read, learn & inwardly digest - not much has changed in 100 years.
TOMMY
I went into a public-'ouse to get a pint o' beer,
The publican 'e up an' sez, "We serve no red-coats here."
The girls be'ind the bar they laughed an' giggled fit to die,
I outs into the street again an' to myself sez I:
O it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, go away";
But it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play,
The band begins to play, my boys, the band begins to play,
O it's "Thank you, Mister Atkins", when the band begins to play.
I went into a theatre as sober as could be,
They gave a drunk civilian room, but 'adn't none for me;
They sent me to the gallery or round the music-'alls,
But when it comes to fightin', Lord! they'll shove me in the stalls!
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, wait outside";
But it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide,
The troopship's on the tide, my boys, the troopship's on the tide,
O it's "Special train for Atkins" when the trooper's on the tide.
Yes, makin' mock o' uniforms that guard you while you sleep
Is cheaper than them uniforms, an' they're starvation cheap;
An' hustlin' drunken soldiers when they're goin' large a bit
Is five times better business than paradin' in full kit.
Then it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, 'ow's yer soul?"
But it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll,
The drums begin to roll, my boys, the drums begin to roll,
O it's "Thin red line of 'eroes" when the drums begin to roll.
We aren't no thin red 'eroes, nor we aren't no blackguards too,
But single men in barricks, most remarkable like you;
An' if sometimes our conduck isn't all your fancy paints,
Why, single men in barricks don't grow into plaster saints;
While it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Tommy, fall be'ind",
But it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind,
There's trouble in the wind, my boys, there's trouble in the wind,
O it's "Please to walk in front, sir", when there's trouble in the wind.
You talk o' better food for us, an' schools, an' fires, an' all:
We'll wait for extra rations if you treat us rational.
Don't mess about the cook-room slops, but prove it to our face
The Widow's Uniform is not the soldier-man's disgrace.
For it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "Chuck him out, the brute!"
But it's "Saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot;
An' it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' anything you please;
An' Tommy ain't a bloomin' fool -- you bet that Tommy sees!
Comments
Remember, as you walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death (see background, above picture), these 3 things, hadji:
1) Keep walking.
2) Keep your hands where we can see them.
3) It probably wasn't named that way before these 4 chaps got there.
What's that the fellow on the left is using, with the large hole up front? A .50?
Posted by: Billll | December 25, 2006 3:51 PM