More Dead Pheasants
Saturday morning; I studiously managed to ignore my alarm at six thirty. Possibly, it was the sound of the rain lashing the bedroom window that sent a subliminal message to stay under the covers and feign death. The usual sharp dig in the ribs from Mrs Free Market arrived with the force and accuracy of a TOW missile and propelled towards the bathroom at some considerable velocity. Hungover like billio , from a respectable innings the night before with The Englishman, I still made it out of the house, with flask of coffee (industrial strength), gun & cartridges in twenty minutes.
I was no further than a mile and a half from home when my mobile rings – it was the shoot Captain; nine thirty start put back to eleven because of inclement weather..$*’&…!! Still, at least it allowed time for a swift about face and respite for restorative coffee & a couple of egg banjos. Caffeine & comfort carbohydrate levels restored, I set of once more for the darkest West Country, Larry Landrover chugging happily away, leaking in time honoured fashion.
Got to the farm yard and it was tipping down – time for my stockmans coat and leggings. So suited & booted, guns, beaters & dogs trudged into the murk.
First drive nothing – I was at the wrong end of the line and the wind was in the wrong direction. With the rain gently running down my neck, the only sensible course of action was to seek solace in my hip flask, which was suitably charged for the occasion. A few snifters later and the drive went, as miraculously did the rain.
Second drive, I had the hot peg. Right at the bottom of a wooded valley, with the wind that by now had got up, whistling through. Two up the spout, few in the pocket, I was ready for action. Well…the pheasants came screaming down line, about 100 ft up and at full throttle; what more can you ask for? Smoked out three for eight shells and I was delighted. All three were in the centre of the pattern and folded beautifully. It was a bit like shooting partridges the way the heads went back. Shooting to bore (forgive the pun) my grandchildren about when I an older & more incontinent than I already am.
I last two drives passed with nothing, missed two birds that I should have hit but I was happy, nonetheless. Almost dry by now, we retired to the pub to regale one and other with tales of unfeasible marksmanship.
So, now I am nearly set for Christmas Eve. At six o’clock that evening, Family Free Market will sit down to supper – a substantial game pie. This year it will contain pheasants from Somerset, partridges from Wiltshire, Welsh woodcock & Scottish grouse – all slain by my own fair hand
Comments
My Hog was well wimpered, I thought I had been mugged; I was quite pleased that I was indoors on such a foul day, but I would have prefered to be out shooting - maybe next year life will have returned to normal to let me take up the gun again!
Posted by: An Englishman | December 16, 2003 10:46 AM
CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS TO A DUMBASSED AMERICAN?
Clearly, I don't understand the weighted voting system in a parliamentary government.
I saw this (obviously) on the website known as "Little Green Footballs", and it just confuses the Hell out of me.
Is not “Red Ken” considered a drag on his party's credibility?
Perhaps there's been some back-room spanking applied, which an Englishman (not unlike a mad dog) would implicitly understand... but it seems to an untutored, cowboy American ("Nope, no historical tourist attractions here, but we do all come out of the McDonalds to watch the drunken gunfights in the street across from the elementary school.") that this is irresponsible.
Is some invisible party discipline being enforced (shut up and sit down), or is this the worst kind of pandering?
Don't mistake me. I think most Britons are still the friends of liberty... but, jeeze.
Anyway:
LGF readers probably consider Tony Blair to be (mostly) on the anti-idiotarian side. I do too, although his positions on the Arab-Israel conflict leave more than a little to be desired.
So why the hell is Blair supporting the Marxist, anti-American Mayor of London, “Red Ken” Livingstone, who just last month called George W. Bush “the greatest threat to life on this planet that we’ve most probably ever seen?” Livingstone May Return. (Hat tip: Fay.)
Labour’s governing body has voted to “begin the process” to allow Mayor of London Ken Livingstone back into the party.
The rebel MP was kicked out of the party three years ago but has re-applied for membership.
Mr Livingstone will be required to make commitments of loyalty before a final decision by the NEC in January.
His return was backed by Prime Minister Tony Blair, who attended part of the 90-minute meeting but left before the overwhelming 25-2 vote in favour of readmission.
BUT BLAIR LEFT BEFORE THE VOTE? ISN'T HE THE LEADER OF HIS PARTY?
Head-scratching.
Posted by: Les Waldron | December 17, 2003 9:26 AM