Toy Story
About a year ago, I walked into Hamleys. Given that as toyshops go, it is huge – five storeys, so I thought that a quick visit to the information desk would speed my purchase. My question was really quite simple – I wanted to buy my Free Markette a silver cowboy cap gun – every little boy needs one. Not an unreasonable request you would think.
Well, the look I got from the stud-through-nose ‘assistant’ when I posed my question was quite extraordinary. You’d have thought that I had asked for a tin of Zyclon B & directions to the nearest showerhead store, which reminds me……
(A few years ago, the Royal Green Jackets were on exercise in Germany. After being in the field for a week, they came in to Barracks & there was a shower parade. The boys turned up in shorts, towels and were all wearing their respirators. The Huns went absolutely Johnny Ballistic. Officially, they got a serious rifting – unofficially, “Well done lads.”)
But now we return to Hamleys. Having been informed, “we don’t stock THAT sort of thing” I went for a little walk around the store. You could buy a toy tank, a Crusaders outfit or even a model of the Enola Gay……..but not a toy gun. Now I do not know if it is just me & my warped values but I fail to see the difference. What shall we play today? – Crispy critter 70,000 J’s? If you have ever eaten whale meat as I have, you will understand that the judicious application of weapons grade uranium can only improve things – but want to play cowboys & indians - that makes you a genocidal manic, bent on the destruction of the Indian Nation. Give a child a toy gun & he will grow up to be a drive-by shooter.
Now reading the Reuters site, I see that an “Incredible Hulk that opens its mouth and yelps when hit in the chest is among a dozen toys criticised by a U.S. group opposed to marketing violence to children.
"The toys on the dirty dozen list teach that violence is fun," said Daphne White, director of the Lion & Lamb Project, a non-profit group that has been compiling such a list since 1996.”
Of course, Lion & Lamb are completely correct. I have seen the light & I am off to Hamleys the ‘no gun’ toy store. I think that I will visit their computer games department & pick a copy of Microwave Massacre with the added chain saw, snot & gore upgrade.
Comments
"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. It smells like...VICTORY!"
Royal Green Jackets, eh?
I have four boys. The oldest one was given tomahawks to throw, as well as knives. He was also given a pellet rifle at age 12 and became a crack shot defending the bird food. He skinned and tanned their hides.
He was proficient in the use of firearms as well.
Where we lived in Missouri, it was snake infested and sometimes, to mow the grass you had to carry a pistol. There were also coyotes and the occasional wolf prowling around and you carried to protect your food supply and family.
He was the gentlest lad I knew. His brothers and sister adored him. And it was because he knew what firearms could do that he was so restrained in their use.
We will provide this training and exposure to all our lads, and the lass will definately need it. She shows signs of looking like Cindy Crawford, so martial arts training will be added.
I doubt I would be able to send you a toy gun, but they are available here in the states.
Posted by: Cricket | November 28, 2003 1:21 PM
http://www.realistictoyguns.com/
"We accept international orders"!
Posted by: Mr. Bruce | December 2, 2003 6:18 AM
Visit here in Oklahoma and go to any antique store, all the classic toy guns you want. Not easy to get them at toy stores, however.
Posted by: alfredo stroessner | December 3, 2003 7:40 AM