Larry Landrover
Received wisdom is that you can read a lot into a person by the car that they drive. So I do not suppose that I would come out very well on this one then – but let’s throw caution & reputation to the wind. In 1946, having witnessed the phenomenal success of the US Jeep, a bunch of engineers in Birmingham came up with the Landrover. Arguably the most inspired 4x4 ever, its basic design hasn’t changed in over 40 years – I know I drive one.
It is an absurd vehicle – and something deliciously British about it. With a design that has been built for so long, you would have through that the production engineers would have sorted it out – no chance. Water leaks in at nearly the same rate as oil leaks out; then again, skin is waterproof & you shouldn’t have bought one in the first place if you don’t have a sense of humour.
A true landy aficionado will be able to give you the measurements and weight of the exact amount of mould that should be growing on the rear window seals as well as calculating the rate of decay of the rear cross-member & the half life of the traction control system. I swear that mine is a mobile eco-system, that number of insects & animals that hibernate in it
One of its main selling points is that it can be maintained in inhospitable locations by untrained mechanics with few tools & no training. To facilitate easy of access. bits fall off it with monotonous regularity. There is however very little that can’t be sorted out with a No.14 (Chinese Laundry) screwdriver, a lump hammer & duct tape.
Whichever way you look at however, the vehicles statistics are impressive:
70% of all Landrovers ever build have been exported;
70% are still on the road.
Admittedly, these statistics are flawed as they are not weighted to take account of vastly increased production in recent years & none of us believe oft quoted numbers, do we? In the words of Vic Reeves,
“99.87% of all statistics are made up on the spot”
Herein lies the great paradox & what differentiates a Landrover from every other 4x4. It will always get you home. The gentlemen of Load Lane know that one day, your life might depend on their design. On that happy note, I have to get the hammer out – the traction control needs sorting out (seriously)
Comments
No mate - you want a Pikeymobile - something Japanese, plenty of chrome, Leather seats, air con etc - OK , it may rust out but the fuckers keep chugging on for ever - ask any Australian outbacker.
It is the choice between Goretex and Tweed , one is plastic and works the other isn't and doesn't.. bugger I have argued myself out of my arguement - I'll go an order a 110 crewcab with pickup back immediatly.
Posted by: An Englishman | November 28, 2003 3:01 PM
Try a 1978 Ford F-250 4x4. Talk about duct tape and bailing wire (the venerated fix-all of all true rednecks), I've gotten my old beater on the road with both.
Traction control??? I thought that was what locking differential front and rear were for? That and the good sense to stay out of mud deeper than your waist....
Posted by: James | December 2, 2003 3:01 AM
89 Isuzu Trooper, 189,000 miles, been to Central America with it. Got the American made V-6 and five speed. Just binned the fancy power windows and put some doors off of a plain one(roll up windows). Adding a winch and plan on having the whole shebang bedcoated with Rhinoliner. A rubber truck! Now isn't she a beauty, Crikey!
Posted by: alfredo stroessner | December 3, 2003 7:44 AM